


The Yoosung Challenge

by Elvendara



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Mental Illness, NSFW, Yooran, tags added as needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-06-20 02:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15524325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvendara/pseuds/Elvendara
Summary: Mystic Messenger University AU in which Saeran is a baseball star with a secret. With everything Saeran has been through, Yoosung will be the greatest challenge of his life.





	1. Meet Cute?

**Author's Note:**

> Most of this first chapter did not change, just a few additions. Thank you for going on this journey of mine! Let's get these boys together! After a lot of angst of course.....YOORAN!!!

He meant well, he always did, and honestly, if it hadn't been for Saeyoung, Saeran would probably be dead by now. He'd made good on his promise. He got them away from their mother. Whatever his job was, it allowed him to create new identities for them both. Saeran was adamant that he wanted to keep his real first name, but Saeyoung changed his to Luciel. Most of the time though, he just went by Seven. It suited him.

Luciel and Saeran Choi they had become. He'd also added a few years to his own age so that there would be no questions about how he was Saeran's legal guardian, at least, on paper, because one look at them and it was obvious that they were twins. Thankfully, Seven was a master at working through phone and internet. He'd enrolled Saeran into public school and tried to give him as normal a life as he could.

Saeran fought him at first. He wanted to stay close to his brother, he was too afraid of the world outside, fearing that it would only lead to more pain. Slowly, however, he found that he was getting healthier, and that other people would not necessarily hurt him. There were some instances where he had been bullied because of his shyness and his introverted tendencies. Soon enough though, he learned that he had a real talent for sports. He enjoyed the physical strain, the competition, the ball in his hand. Baseball became his main focus and because he was skilled and worked hard to get better, the coaches loved him, and so did his team mates. In fact, he was so good, he earned a scholarship to a university. Seven encouraged him to continue his education and play ball. Those who once bullied him began to praise him. Initially, he had enjoyed the new treatment. Eventually, he understood that it was not him they now liked, but his new popularity.

He loved his brother, but his constant pressure to push Saeran into a “normal” life was beginning to chafe. When he began university, Seven had talked him into living with his team on campus so that he could make some real friends. It was still difficult for Saeran in that department. He preferred to spend most of his time by himself or with his brother. He stayed in the dorm to make Seven happy, but, he simply went through the motions. He wasn’t unhappy, he just did not care for the lifestyle most of his team mates preferred. He would drink, but not to excess, he'd tried pot, it was something he enjoyed doing alone, he was hit on a lot by university girls, which, brought him to the one aspect that was a sticking point for him. He was gay. Had always been gay, had never had any doubts gay. His team mates would try to get him laid, but he always fended them off. Most of the time, the girls were so drunk, they didn't remember if he'd been receptive or not.

He knew Seven lived vicariously through him. Wanting to hear all about campus life, something he had never been able to have, since he’d attended when he was still pretty much a child, then had retreated to the shadows to become an observer of life, instead of a participant. Saeran tried his best to adhere to his brother’s wishes, but, he was feeling trapped in a situation he didn’t want to be in. It wasn’t up to him to live his brother’s life. Relatinships were also something uppermost on his brother’s lists of things Saeran should explore. However, it wasn’t something high on his own list.

He'd never tried to have a relationship, never even really had a crush on anyone. He was happy with his baseball, his art, and his brother. It did not bother him in the least that he had no one else close to him. It made things easier for him as well. It was not a secret that most of his team mates disdained anyone whose sexual orientation did not fit their idea of masculinity. They threw the word 'gay' around like a whip, hitting anyone and everyone with it.

His only sexual experience had been with one of his team mates in high school who he had invited home just to shut his brother up. They had spent time in his room, playing video games and at some point, he had placed his hand on Saeran's crotch as if it was no big deal. He'd asked Saeran if he wanted a blow job and Saeran was too stunned to answer. The boy took that as assent and began to do just that. He'd enjoyed it, but it felt awkward. He tried it himself on the other boy. The next day, the boy ignored him and never really spoke to him again. Saeran was embarrassed and ashamed, he hadn't even told Seven, even though he told him everything. Since then, he had maintained his unspoken rule of no touching. Or at least, minimal touching.

Seven kept pushing him to make friends, to at least try, but after a year of University, he still only had what he would loosely call, acquaintances. Which brought him to his current situation. He stood in a large hallway at a local MegaCon that his teammates had pressured him into going to. It wasn't that they enjoyed video games, or anime, it was in order to make fun of all the cosplayers and nerds. He'd already witnessed a lot of bullying and name calling. He was embarrassed to be in their group, but he didn't know what to do. He had nothing against anyone who attended the Con. In fact, he played with Seven sometimes. It was a great stress relief for him. He wasn't into it as much as his brother, he could easily see Seven dressing up and attending something like this, if he ever actually left the house.

He was pretty sure this wasn’t what Seven had intended for him to be doing with his “friends”. With a sigh, he stepped away from the group and idly walked around, distancing himself from the pack. There was a loud commotion that drew his attention from one of the many rooms. The doors were open wide and the sign in front read "LOLOL Tournament 3 p.m - finish" Saeran grinned. He was very familiar with LOLOL. It was one of Seven's favorite roleplaying games to play. He was rather proud of his #1 ranking on the Shooting Star server. Whenever anyone came close to unseating him from his throne, he would go on the warpath and sometimes take Saeran along with him. He was very serious about his title.

He walked inside. There was a large crowd around two different sections of the room. There were several computer stations with dividers between them. Most were now empty. Only two appeared to still occupy a player. The crowd was too thick for him to see them, but there were large TV's on the wall that showed the player's avatars in game. Saeran grinned, thinking about how he was going to tease his brother about this. He would have loved to compete. But, his work made it impossible for him to stand out in any way in the general public.

One of the avatars was a large barbarian with plate mail and a gigantic maul. The other was a tall, thin, elf with chainmail. His weapon was a halberd that was twice its size. Saeran blinked. It was unusual for the cleric class to dominate one on one. Usually, they were a supporting class. He was impressed that this player had made it to the top two as a cleric. He must have amazing strategic skills.

The screen changed, showing the competitors themselves. On the left screen there was a mousy brown-haired boy that couldn't be more than 18 if that. His face glistened with sweat, his brown eyes shiny with determination. His teeth were clenched, his eyes darting rapidly across his screen.

Saeran's eyes shifted to the screen on the right and his breath hitched, his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. He'd never seen anything more beautiful. The boy was slender, his large headphones almost disappearing into his blonde fluffy hair. He could see the darker roots near his scalp. His complexion was pale, accentuating his large amethyst eyes and pink lips. He was biting his bottom lip, his nostrils flaring as his eyes also scanned rapidly across his monitor. His tongue peeked out and licked his lips. He used the sleeve of his faded blue hoodie to wipe sweat that began to drip into his eyes. He blinked furiously, his long lashes fluttering.

Saeran quickly scanned through the crowd, standing on his tip toes until he thought he saw the flash of yellow hair in the center. He wanted to push his way through, wanted to see this sunshine in all its splendor, but he knew the tightly packed mob would never let him through. Instead, he made his way to the podium where the trophies were lined up and where, presumably, the winners would be displayed. He wrung his hands nervously as he stared at the screens on the wall, waiting for any glimpse of the boy. He tried to tell himself that this was ridiculous. Love at first sight was not a real thing. And, honestly, this was probably lust anyway. Just because he'd never felt it before, didn't mean anything.

He looked away and thought about leaving all together. He wasn't equipped to deal with these feelings. His heart was racing, and his palms were sweaty. He ran his hand through the thick strands of his curly red hair, sure that his pale face was flushed, the smattering of freckles standing out against the rising color. He swallowed with great difficulty and his breath lodged in his throat once more as the image of the blonde boy appeared, his lavender eyes wide, a small grin on his face as he saw victory in his grasp. Sure enough, there was a giant eruption of cheering from the crowd around him, a chant rising in volume, “Yoosung! Yoosung! Yoosung!” Saeran’s chest constricted, was that his name? Or the name of his avatar? Yoosung…why did it sound familiar? Like he’d heard it before? He shook his head, trying to dislodge these new feelings. They clung to him, settling into his skin, into his heart, into his head, growing roots deep into his psyche. Both screens now showed only the blonde, his smile from ear to ear, his hair in disarray, arm up in victory.

Saeran closed his eyes and turned quickly, no, he couldn’t deal with this, it was too much. Unfortunately, the mob descended on his area and he was pushed back towards the podium, up to the red rope around it. He tried to tune out the uproar, to try and steady his breathing. He hadn’t brought his medication, thinking he would not need it. He hadn’t for a long time now. He regretted that decision. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to turn. He saw a flash of blonde and he focused on the boy with the widest grin in the world, he focused on his eyes, trying to figure out exactly what shade of purple they were. He noted a touch of pink around the edges. The boy made eye contact and suddenly his smile was gone. Saeran narrowed his eyes questioningly. The boy’s mouth thinned into a hard line and he jerked his eyes away, Saeran could have sworn they had begun to fill with tears.

Why would he begin to cry because of Saeran? Now he was just confused. He watched him step up to the top spot, the brown-haired boy to his right, and a curly-haired brunette to his left. He avoided eye contact, but Saeran could still see he was distressed. His jubilance of a moment ago completely gone. He tried to smile at those in front of him, but it was strained and off. Saeran blinked rapidly, wondering what he could have done to elicit that kind of reaction. His own eyes began to tear up. He’d only wanted to talk to the boy. To figure out what he’d felt in that moment. To understand if it was something they could share. He shook his head, already knowing the answer.

He watched him anyway, enjoying this brief instance before he walked away forever. They presented him with a giant trophy and his grin was once more back, his joy effervescent. He glowed with happiness and triumph. He was surrounded by friends who cheered for him, who looked genuinely thrilled for him. Saeran smiled sadly, his hands shaking by his side. He could never have that. He would never be that happy. He wanted to bask in his glow. He wanted to reach out and run the back of his fingers along his cheek. He wondered what those pink lips would taste like. He let himself fall into the fantasy. Let himself believe he could have something so bright, something so beautiful.

He didn’t know how long the pomp and circumstance lasted, at one point they had set a crown on the boy’s head and the crowd had cheered. It began to disperse suddenly, flooding away from Saeran before he even knew it. Only the blonde’s friends remained, but his eyes remained focused on only Saeran. He found that he couldn’t move, his feet planted to the floor. He saw the blonde straighten his shoulders, a look of resolve burgeoning in his eyes. He held his trophy in front of him like a shield then stalked towards Saeran.

Saeran took a step back, not sure what he intended to do with the heavy looking weapon in his hands. He stopped just on the other side of the rope and glared at him.

“What do you want now? Come to finish what your friends started?” he gripped the trophy so tight his knuckles were white. His eyes glistened, and his bottom lip trembled, but he faced Saeran with determination, even if his voice cracked. Saeran blinked, a conflicting and enormous amount of emotions playing out within him. Hearing the boy’s voice was thrilling, it was soft, sweet, and melodic, with a touch of edginess to it. But, his words were like a dagger to his heart. His team mates! Of course, that was why he could be hated so easily. He should have dumped his team jacket in the nearest garbage can! He seriously needed to rethink things. He loved playing baseball, but he didn’t love everything else that went with it.

“I…no…I didn’t…I mean…” Saeran took another step back.

“Let him have it Yoosung!”

“Give him hell!”

“You tell him!”

Saeran wanted to run, wanted to fold in on himself, but he couldn’t look away from those eyes. How could he tell this beautiful angry boy that he only wanted to talk to him? To spend time with him. To get to know him. To explore these new, unknown feelings. To see him smile, to hear him laugh, to hold his hand? How? He sputtered, unable to form any coherent sounds.

“Not so brave without your friends, are you?” Yoosung stepped over the rope and loomed towards Saeran, who kept taking small steps backwards.

“No, it’s not…I didn’t…” Saeran tried to say, but what could he really say? That he hadn’t participated in the bullying his team mates had done? That he’d stood by, letting it happen, not helping anyone? That he’d had several chances to tell them they shouldn’t be assholes? He was just as guilty, and he knew it. Whether he had participated or not did not matter. He had let it happen without voicing any complaint. He hung his head, he deserved Yoosung’s anger.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered. The hot tears fell from the tip of his nose onto the floor, splashing silently. His hands formed fists and he turned away, leaving the light behind him and ran back into the darkness. He cloaked himself in the shadows that had become his only friends. It was comfortable here, away from any painful feelings. He ran down the hall and out the doors. The night was settling in, the cool breeze hitting his face. He felt the wetness of his tears across his cheeks. He wiped at them angrily and stalked down the stairs towards the long row of taxi’s. He jumped into the first one he saw and gave the man his brother’s address.

Saeran squeezed his hands together in front of him. He let the tears fall, not caring if the taxi driver saw. He tried to steady his heart, to get his breathing under control so that he wouldn’t fall into the grip of his anxiety. He tried the relaxation techniques his therapist had shown him, but the only thing he could visualize now were those amethyst eyes glaring at him. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth painfully. He balled up his fists and started smacking himself in the head as he rocked back and forth.

“Hey! Hey now! Do I need to pull over?” the taxi driver watched his passenger warily.

“No! No, please, just…get me there!” he pleaded.

It must have been good enough for the man, as he settled back into his drive, now glancing at his rearview mirror with more worry than anything.

“Is someone there to help you?” he asked gently.

Saeran nodded, “My brother. My brother.”

The man nodded back with a sigh of relief. Saeran lay his forehead against the cold glass and wept silently.

When they pulled up to the house, Saeran paid the man and gave him a probably too large tip. He didn’t care. The man had been kind and gentle when most people would have treated him roughly.

He punched in the security code of the house and waved to the man. He had waited until the door opened before leaving. Saeran smiled sadly to himself, wondering at the generosity of some people. He walked in, right past the kitchen, the living room, and straight into his room. Seven kept it clean and ready for him always. Saeran would often spend the weekend in the house. He crawled under the clean sheets and buried himself in them. He should take his medication, there was always some in the bathroom, but he just wanted to fade away, to lose himself in oblivion.

He heard the door open slowly and he squeezed his eyes shut, pulling the sheet over his head. He wished he had a thick blanket he could hide under, but the thin sheet would have to do.

“Saeran?” Seven spoke softly, sitting at the edge of his bed. Saeran didn’t answer him, instead, he curled himself into as small a ball as he could. It was a sign Seven easily recognized. He stood and walked out only to return almost immediately. He set something down on Saeran’s night stand. The heavy feel of a blanket pressed down on Saeran and he was again grateful to his brother. Placing his hand on his brother’s shoulder, Seven squeezed gently, then patted him lightly before walking out and leaving him alone. He closed the door softly behind him. When he heard the click, Saeran turned over and saw a water glass and his medication. He reached over and shook two pills out, swallowing them easily. He placed the half-filled water glass back on his night stand and resumed his fetal position. Soon, he was deep in a drug filled sleep, amethyst eyes chasing him. Saeran’s mind turned the boy into someone that loved him. He let Yoosung catch him, let him take him, let him have whatever he wanted from him, even if it was pain.


	2. Deep Dark Hole

The sigh was so loud he surprised himself. Sure, he was excited, and nervous, but he had to practically force himself to continue dressing. He grabbed the shaft of the huge halberd and looked at himself in the mirror. It had taken him months, almost a whole year, to create the cosplay outfit of his LOLOL avatar. He looked pretty good, but he couldn’t push away that nagging feeling of depression creeping back in.

Rika’s death had derailed his life in more ways than he was willing to admit. Without her, he felt unmoored, pushed wherever the waves of life sent him. He continued his path of veterinary medicine, not knowing what else to do with himself. He colored his dark hair blonde in hopes of continuing to feel close to his cousin. Nothing had worked. His depression would grip him when he least expected it, causing him to miss several days of classes. His school work had taken a dive, not only because of his lack of attendance, but because of his lack of ambition or care. It made him feel guilty, that he was somehow letting his cousin down.

He turned away from the mirror and placed the jeweled circlet against his forehead. He took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders, and prayed today would be a good day. While his studies had not been going well, he had fallen into something he used to forget about his unraveling life. Online he could be anyone he wanted to be. He could be a hero, he could be brave, he could be popular. And he was. He had risen like a meteor on the Shooting Star server of LOLOL.

His avatar “Superman Yoosung” had helped him sooth his anxiety, but he knew he was addicted to the game and his addiction was very unhealthy. He would stay up all night and be too tired to go to classes the next day. He wondered again how no one in his life could see he was drowning. The smile he plastered on his face looked fake to him but must look genuine to those around him. What did it matter anyway, what did any of it matter? He grabbed his bag and headed out. He plastered his fake smile on his face and determined to try and have a good time. He was at least looking forward to the tournament, he thought he had a good chance of winning.

He got curious looks on the bus, but gradually, cosplayers were the majority, as they were all headed to the same con. They greeted each other and Yoosung received a lot of compliments for his. That made him feel proud, as he had taken the time to do it himself and not just paid for something made by someone else.

His friends met him at the entrance and were equally impressed by his cosplay. The morning was spent shopping, although Yoosung bought one thing, an LOLOL fan made keychain of Hackergod. It would be a motivator to keep trying to get that coveted number one spot.

They decided to take a break and have some lunch. Yoosung bought a water and took a sandwich from his backpack. His friends gave him grief as they sat with him on some steps, but they knew he was usually strapped for cash. It was all good naturedly.

“What do we have here? Nerdapalooza?” the tall dark-haired boy with a short cut, broad shoulders, and intense green eyes glowered at them. His friends stood behind him and laughed at his stupid joke. They all wore the University team jackets with a baseball and bat on the front. Yoosung’s heart sank. Great, the day had been going so good until now.

“Make that yourself? Or did you troll the discount store?” he chuckled.

“Leave us alone you jerk. Nobody wants you here.” One of his friends spoke up, but his voice was weak and trembling.

The group roared with laughter and continued to harangue them. At least they kept their bullying to verbal assaults. Yoosung tried to ignore them but the dark-haired boy kept signaling him out, making fun of his cosplay, his hair, his eyes, his sandwich in a bag, on and on and on. Yoosung’s chest was beginning to constrict with anger and impotence. Whatever he did, or tried to do, he would be no match for the five muscular boys against him. His friends would fare no better. But his anger was beginning to bubble over and he gripped the handle of his huge weapon. It wouldn’t kill the boy, but it would seriously hurt.

“Dude, come on, these guys are boring!” they had hoped to get a rise out of them and start a physical altercation, but the nerds were too cowardly. The dark-haired boy scoffed at them and turned away, not knowing how close he’d come to Yoosung smashing his face in with his makeshift halberd.

“Man, those guys are lucky they took off! One more second and I would have…” one of his friends began.

“Done nothing…just like the rest of us.” Yoosung grunted, stashing his sandwich back into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he stood.

“Where you going?”

“To get ready for the tournament. I’ll see you guys there.” Yoosung walked away, heading towards one of the restrooms. He slipped out of his costume, stuffing most of it into his bag. He took his blue hoodie out and pulled it on, ruffling his hair. He sat on the toilet seat as he heard others walk in and out, chattering excitedly. He contemplated just going home, his nerves standing on end, every peal of laughter grating on him more. How could they all be so damned happy? How had the world moved on while his had fallen apart? Why did everyone expect him to have done the same? Didn’t anybody care about Rika? Even V, who proclaimed to have loved her, had made a life for himself without her. He was never home, always off somewhere, taking his pictures. Is that how he mourned?

He slammed his fist into the side of the stall and someone squeaked, scrambling out of their stall. The sting of the hit brought him back to himself. He was thankful to be feeling something other than this ever-present engulfing crushing sadness. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and tried to find his happy hopeful mask. When he walked out of the restroom, the smile was back on his face and he was ready to dominate in the tournament. He knew, as a cleric, all the competitors would underestimate him. He would play to that, waiting for the weak to be picked off. By the time the stronger characters realized their mistake, it would be too late.

The beginning was a free for all, Yoosung simply kept himself alive, letting the others kill each other off. After a while, they stopped trying to kill him, as they simply threw away all of their abilities and components on him. Just as he suspected, they soon ignored him completely. If they were smart, they would team up and take him out. Yoosung could keep himself alive from a constant onslaught effectively, even against three, perhaps four, opponents, but if they gathered more, his hit points would be depleted faster than he could heal. However, only a few competitors even banded together, the stronger players preferring to dominate and fight their way to glory.

His avatar darted around, appearing as if he was doing something, when in reality, he was studying his opponents. After an hour of play, he was pretty certain which players would make it to the end. He began to prepare for the real battle that would be coming. He made sure he had the necessary items in his storage and all his hot buttons were correctly calibrated. He would have to maneuver precisely to win against fighter classes. The mage would be easy, he could silence him effectively and the class was ridiculously squishy.

He had only had to really fight on two occasions, and thankfully, none of the other players had payed much attention. His only worry was that another player was sitting back and watching the way he was. He tried to spy any of those out, however, none appeared to be playing any such games. He grinned, knowing he already had the upper hand. Another hour passed before there were only four players in the tournament.

The mage was the first of those to go, as the damage he did was extensive, Yoosung didn’t even have to use his silence spell. There was a barbarian, an assassin, and a fighter left besides him. He was sure they were all laden with healing potions and buffs. He watched as the assassin disappeared. He was fairly sure the target was the fighter, as he was the closest and his back had been to him. He cast a debuff spell on the fighter just as the assassin rematerialized behing him and made a backstab. He must have gotten a critical because the fighter went down after another quick attack from the assassin.

With that, the assassin and the barbarian must have realized the cleric was more of a threat than they had thought. He knew he was in trouble now. He made sure his spells were up, his best equipment on, his hotkeys ready with what he would need. He concentrated on the assassin first, as he was the more dangerous. They came in at him hard and fast. Healing was easy but left him little time to counter attack. He cast his D.O.T. spells, hitting the barbarian with a slow attack one. His attacks cost him more hit points than the assassins, as he kept turning to prevent him from getting his bonuses from a back attack.

 They went round and round, until Yoosung was able to whittle the assassin’s hit points down enough to hit him with his strongest damage spell, Holy Fire. A white bar of light slammed into him and a cacophony of sound erupted around him. He was startled to realize a crowd had gathered around his computer area. His friends surrounded him, cheering him on. He had another burst of energy and excitement. He was one of the two left standing! He could really win this!

The barbarian was more cautious now, unfortunately for him, his strongest attacks were in the melee range and Yoosung was able to do both, ranged, and melee. Yoosung watched his mana bar, waiting for it to fully charge. He used his healing potions and items on him instead of his magic. His buffs were still on and absorbed most of the damage the barbarian did with his maul. All that armor did little to help the player against a cleric. He was built to hack and slash, against Yoosung, he was no competition.

Yoosung grinned, knowing he was on the verge of winning. He ran away from an attack, using his sprint, then turned and began to cast. First, he debuffed the barbarian, stripping him of every ounce of magical protection he had, then he slowed him again to give him enough time to cast his ten second spell, God’s Wrath. He heard a loud explitive from somewhere in the room and knew his opponent knew he was beaten before the crackle of the spell even began. Yoosung held his breath in case the barbarian pulled out an escape, but when the bright light vanished, the barbarian was on the ground and the crowd went wild. His friends began to chant, “Yoosung, Yoosung, Yoosung!!!”

His smile was genuine and ecstatic in that moment, joy spreading through him like wildfire. He tossed off his headphones and joined in the cheering, until he locked eyes with a red head with the baseball logo jacket. His joy died, incinerated, turning to ash that stuck in his throat. Anger, resentment, and fear warred within him. He’d just stolen one of the happiest moments of his life. He didn’t even realize he was on the podium until the man in front of him handed him the large, heavy trophy. He blinked, a spark reigniting within him as he looked out into the beaming faces. He should focus on them, not the solitary pest at the edge of his vision. The boy had a thick mane of red curls, messy and too long, covering his eyes. He’d actually looked excited, a smile of his face as he watched Yoosung. Yoosung imagined he was thinking of what how he would bully the nerd, it’s what jocks did after all. He was probably as dense as toaster oven, getting pleasure from hurting those they didn’t understand.

The crowd began to disperse after the announcement was made. Yoosung was presented with a nice check, he’d forgotten about that, no more peanut butter sandwiches from home for him! He folded it and put it away in his pocket, so he wouldn’t lose it. When he looked up once more, he saw that the baseball boy was still there. They locked eyes and a flare of anger rose in him again. How dare he come in here, in their territory, and try to intimidate them. Yoosung squared his shoulders, determined not to cower again, and stomped towards him. The boy took several steps back, his eyes wide and confused. Good.

His friends backed him up as he berated the boy, who stuttered incomprehensibly. There was something almost sad in his eyes, but Yoosung hardened his heart against him. He wasn’t one of the ones who had harassed them earlier, but they were all the same weren’t they? Suddenly the boy turned and ran out, his friends cheered and clapped Yoosung on the back. Something in the way he had looked made Yoosung feel guilty. But what of it? He shook the feeling away and basked in the warmth of his friend’s admiration. He was a winner! And he had stood up for himself. Maybe, just maybe, his life would start getting better. He pushed that niggling feeling of fear and depression back into a deep dark hole and closed the lid. If he was lucky, it would stay closed forever.

* * *

 

He settled into bed, running everything he had been through that day in his head. The anger, the fear, the satisfaction, the glory, the triumph. He closed his eyes and fell fast asleep. His dreams were turbulent, amber eyes flashing accusations at him. He tossed and turned, trying to get away from that dreadful feeling. Why did he care so much? He stopped tossing when he realized there was something familiar in those amber eyes. It was like looking in the mirror. Something in that boy was just as broken as something in Yoosung was. That realization did not follow him into the waking world.


	3. Hacker God

Saeran’s eyes were heavy. He’d cried so much, they were glued together and puffy. His head ached, and he knew it was going to take all day to feel any better. He didn’t care. He wanted desperately to fall back into his dreams. At least in there, he could be with the cute blonde. He sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes. He smelled bacon and he sat up. Seven was cooking? That couldn’t be good. He jumped out of bed and took a quick shower in his bathroom. Once he was in some clean clothes, he finally ventured into the kitchen. It was still in one piece, that was a good sign.

“Good morning! Or should I say, good afternoon!” his brother’s voice was too loud and Saeran just sat at the kitchen table and groaned.

Seven set a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs in front of him, plus a cup of coffee. Saeran took both gratefully with a grunt.

“I’ll take that as a thank you.” Seven smirked, sitting down with his own plate and cup. “There wasn’t much in the house, so I went out this morning to get some groceries.

Saeran arched an eyebrow.

“What? I go out!”

Both eyebrows were now up.

“Just eat your eggs!” Saeran tucked in, he felt famished.

After a few minutes of silence, Seven asked, “Want to talk about it?”

Saeran shook his head.

“Ok, well, you know you can always talk to me.”

Saeran nodded absently. “Can I stay here a while?” he asked.

“Of course you can Saeran, this is your home, it always will be.” Seven assured him. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” he prodded gently.

Saeran shrugged. He felt the sting of tears again and he tried to keep them at bay. He set his fork down and lay his head on his hands weeping. Seven was up instantly, his arms around his brother, holding him tight. Saeran brokenly told him what had happened, how he’d felt, and how he would never again see that beautiful boy who looked at him with such disdain. How he felt guilty and helpless. How he felt heart broken and alone. It had always been easy to confide in his brother. He’d always been the only person who truly understood Saeran.

“Oh Saeran, I’m so sorry! But, you can’t give up that easily! You can’t just walk away from your feelings like that.”

Saeran pulled away from his brother and wiped his tears away with his sleeves.

“You’re one to talk. When was the last time you were out with anyone?” he threw back at him.

“That’s different. You know that! My job doesn’t allow me to have much of a personal life.” Seven looked away, taking a seat next to Saeran.

“It isn’t your job Seven, it’s you, it’s me. We…we’re no good at relationships.” He hung his head, Seven didn’t argue.

“Whatever happened with that guy you were talking to online? I thought you really liked him?” Saeran asked.

Seven shrugged, “He lives in Europe, plus, I found out he was married.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“No big deal, I mean, it wasn’t as if I was going to skip off to London to see him or anything!” he grinned.

Saeran scoffed at him. “What about that girl you met during your last mission? She was cute.” Seven had shown him a picture of the woman he had worked with, she was blonde, petite, and dangerous.

“Oh, well, she was a little too much for me.” He laughed. “It was fun, for a few weeks, but, not for a lifetime.” Seven sighed. “You know you deserve to be happy, don’t you?”

“What about you? Don’t we both deserve to be happy? I hate it that you sit in that small room all day and night. That can’t be all that you want out of life.”

“I live through you little brother.” Seven grinned.

“Don’t do that. You know I would do anything for you, and I have. But, Seven…I…”

“Are you truly that unhappy where you are? I was hoping you would make some friends, come out of your shell a little. I know you love playing baseball, but, there’s so much more to life than just sports.”

“I’m not unhappy. I just, don’t fit in. They tolerate me at best. Because they need me. But I see the way they look at me, like…like I’m a weirdo. And, worst of all, I still can’t be myself around them.” He looked away. He hadn’t meant to burden his brother with any of this, but that blonde had him reeling emotionally.

“You can come home then. If that’s what you want. But, I still think you should find this boy. Try again.”

Saeran was already shaking his head before Seven even finished.

“I tell you what. You try again, and so will I. Uh, where do you go to meet girls? Or boys? Or, someone, these days?” he asked.

Saeran laughed genuinely.

“Maybe a cheerleader at one of your games? I understand they are very sexy!” Seven wiggled his eyebrows.

Saeran pushed at him, “Idiot, there aren’t any cheerleaders in baseball!”

“Oh.” Seven sounded crestfallen.

“And I know as much as you do how to meet someone. Which is next to nothing!”

Seven nodded in agreement, his brief relationships tended to arise from work, and those weren’t the kinds of people one wanted to spend the rest of their lives with. Which pretty much meant nobody would want him for a lifetime either.

Saeran knew all this and constantly tried to tell Seven that he was worth more than the agency told him he was. They were a pair. Each knowing and understanding that the other was good enough and deserving of love, affection, and happiness, but vehemently denying they themselves did.

“No matter, we’ll figure it out together, like we always do, now, let me get my laptop and look for this cutie of yours.”

Saeran tried to stop his brother but he was on a roll and at this point, it was probably better to let the train continue to it’s designated stop. Besides, it didn’t seem so bad to find Superman Yoosung, even if it meant more pain and suffering.

Seven plopped himself on the sofa and Saeran grabbed his plate and sat next to him.

“What did you say his name was?” Seven asked as he opened up a file to start accumulating information.

“Yoosung, I think, although that could have been his LOLOL avatar’s name. Uh…Superman Yoosung, that’s what was on the screen.”

Seven stopped typing, “What did you say?”

“Superman Yoosung?” Saeran repeated.

“As in ‘Shooting Star server #2 ranked player’ Superman Yoosung?” Seven was aghast.

Saeran shrugged, he’d never really paid attention to what other player’s names were. But maybe that’s why he thought Yoosung’s name had been so familiar.

Seven went back to his laptop, his fingers flying over the keyboard.

“Found him.” Seven tossed back his head in triumph after only thirty minutes. Saeran had finished his breakfast and had gotten another cup of coffee.

“Already? You just started looking. What did you find?” Saeran was beginning to feel apprehensive about the whole thing. Perhaps he should try to find Yoosung a different way? A not so stalkerish way.

“His entire background, his mom is all over social media, here’s a cute baby picure too. Oh, he’s not a natural blonde, in case you were wondering.” Seven leaned against Saeran and crossed his arms, clearly impressed with himself.

“Jesus Seven! I didn’t ask you to do a background check. And, I’m still not entirely sure this is ethical! I mean, isn’t this basically stalking?” his body belied his words, as he scrolled through the mountains of data his brother had put together. He berated himself, he should really respect Yoosung’s privacy, but…

Seven shrugged. "You want to see him again or not? It's a big university, chances are you will never run into him otherwise. Besides, I'd like to meet this guy too. And I was right!”

"Right about what exactly?" Saeran asked absently.

"He _is the_ SupermanYoosung on the LOLOL Shooting Star server! He's the number two to my number one."

"Really?" It seemed logical now that he thought about it. He'd helped Seven defeat that avatar plenty of times. He really should pay better attention to those silly missions.

"Yep, look..." He scrolled through the data he’d collected. "Here... you can 'bump' into him here." He made the air quotes as he said the word 'bump'. Saeran looked at the name and address Seven pointed to. It was a coffee and ice cream shop he frequented. Apparently, Yoosung worked there once a week. How had he not already run into him?

He grinned, "That's perfect!" He could at least justify to himself that at some point, he would have run into him anyway. Seven slapped him on the back.

"Go get your man!" He teased as he pushed the laptop onto Saeran and jumped off the sofa, stalking out of the room laughing.

Saeran pulled up the pictures Seven had included and couldn't help smile at the wide-eyed boy in them. He was smiling in all the pictures, which ranged from toddler to present day. The hair color change had appeared once he was at the university. He wanted to ask him why he'd done it. His own smile died as he came across one in which Yoosung looked sad, his eyes downcast, the expression looked alien on his face. He zoomed in on his face. He could not deny where his heart was leading him. But he was afraid that Yoosung would put an end finally to his desire.

* * *

 

Saeran had been nervous for the past three days. He had visited the coffee shop at the same time every day, so that he could easily say that he was not stalking Yoosung when he finally saw him. He stood just outside, scanning the shop. There was no sign of him and he was about to give up and just leave when he saw a flash of blonde hair as someone backed out from the kitchen with a large tray. Sure enough, it was Yoosung's smiling face that became visible.

Before he knew what he was doing, he entered the shop and walked right up to the counter. Yoosung looked up and his smile came crashing down. His eyes narrowed, and his lips thinned into a fine white line. He really was not happy to see Saeran at all.

"What are you doing here?" he growled. The tone did not suit him at all.

Saeran ran his hand through his hair nervously, then scratched at the back of his neck.

"Yoosung! That is no way to greet our customers." A young woman berated the blonde. She turned to Saeran, who recognized her. She had been the barista whom he had ordered from the past few days. The nametag she wore named her as MC. Her long brown hair was held back in a stylish ponytail, her honey brown eyes wide and inviting. She was always kind to Saeran and he appreciated her patience when he was unsure of his order.

"Uh, no, that's fine, um, can I...uh..." Saeran couldn't get the words out.

"The usual?" MC asked helpfully. He smiled at her in relief and nodded. His gaze slipped back to Yoosung, who had placed the tray of freshly baked goods into the display case. His demeanor had not changed in the least.

MC rang him up and he quickly paid. Had this been a mistake? How was he supposed to even try to talk to someone who clearly wanted nothing to do with him? Yoosung stood and walked back through the doors and Saeran's shoulders fell.

"I'm sorry about that. Usually Yoosung is very sweet, all of our customers love him." MC tried to apologize.

"It's ok, it's my fault really." Saeran said, his face falling even more.

"Oh, you know Yoosung?"

"Not really, but, I'd like to." he thought he'd said that last part too low for her to hear, but the way her face lit up, perhaps he hadn't.

She didn't say anything else as she scooped up his strawberry ice cream and handed it to him. Saeran took it sullenly and sat next to the window. He began to eat, but only out of habit. His normal glee and satisfaction of the tasty treat was completely gone. His taste buds were boycotting. He stabbed his spoon into the sugary concoction until it was nothing but a soupy mess.

"What do you want?" Yoosung sat opposite him, throwing his apron and visor onto the table by his melted ice cream. His eyes were sparkling, his jaw set. "MC told me what you said! What is this? A hazing ritual? Bring a nerd to dinner or something? Whatever it is, I'm not interested, so you can just go." his fists clutched at his apron and all Saeran could think was, how fucking adorable he looked when he was mad. Those flashing amethyst eyes, the color on his cheeks, his shoulders squared, bristling. He had to bite his lower lip to keep a smile from creeping onto his face.

"Nothing like that!" he leaned against his chair and just stared at the beautiful boy.

"Then what?" Yoosung softened, just a little, perhaps he was just curious now.

Saeran decided to go with something that would appeal to blonde. "I remembered your username. The one from the LOLOL tournament. I've seen it before. You might actually know my brother." He let that sink in and waited.

He didn't have to wait long. "Who's your brother?" he asked warily.

"Well, you'd know him as Hacker God..." he didn't even finish the name before Yoosung jumped up and leaned towards Saeran, grasping his arms.

"NO WAY! Are you serious? He's real? I thought he was a bot or something! Did he hack into the game? Because he has EVERYTHING you can have in the game. No way he got all of that by just playing!"

Saeran was overwhelmed, Yoosung went from zero to a hundred in 2 seconds flat. His face was barely an inch away from him.

Saeran gulped as he stared into the large amethyst eyes, now lit up with excitement. Yoosung realized how close he was, and he backed up, sitting down heavily, his eyes darting nervously as his hands now twisted the apron.

"Ss...sorry. It's just, I've been trying to beat that guy for so long."

Saeran nodded in understanding.

There were several seconds of silence before Saeran cleared his throat and leaned over the table, elbows on it, hands clasped in front of him.

"Look, that day, I know what my teammates were doing. And, I wish I could say that I tried to stop them, but, I didn't. I let them treat people like shit and I didn't interfere. The fact that I didn't participate means nothing. I should have said something. Especially because...because..." he lowered his gaze. He couldn't do it. He couldn't take that final step, the one that would put what he was out there, into the world, where anyone could find out.

"Because?" Yoosung prompted.

"Nothing, never mind." Saeran sat back against his chair, his arms crossing in front of him and ducking his head.

"Hmph." Yoosung stood and began to walk away. Saeran reached for him and grasped his wrist. It felt small in his hands, his fingers easily encircling it.

Yoosung stopped and looked at him questioningly. He didn't try to pull his wrist free.

"If I tell you, can I trust you?" Saeran struggled with the words, but he desperately wanted to trust Yoosung, wanted to tell him the secret he had never revealed to anyone but his brother.

Yoosung sat back down and Saeran let him go. He placed his slender hand over Saeran's. "Of course you can." it was that easy. And Saeran found that he believed the blonde. No matter what, even if he became angry with him again, he knew that Yoosung would never use the information he was about to receive vindictively.

"Yoosung..." MC motioned for him and pointed to her watch.

"Ah, I have to go, my break is up..." he half rose, but he seemed hesitant to leave.

"It's ok, you can go." Saeran's shoulders slumped, he'd ruined his chance.

"Alright. I get off at 10, I know it's late, but, if you want, you can walk me home, and... we can talk."

"Really?" Saeran asked, surprised.

Yoosung smiled at him and it felt as if the sun had finally cut through the clouds of Saeran's life.

"Really, see you then?" he arched an eyebrow. Saeran nodded. "I'll take that, unless you're going to drink it." he laughed as he grabbed Saeran's soupy ice cream.

Saeran watched as Yoosung went back into the kitchen. He sat for a few minutes then stood and left, ready to tell Yoosung anything and everything he wanted to know. He couldn't wait to call Seven and let him know what had just happened.


	4. I Really Like You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll this week! Don't expect another week like this! LOLOL

“Well that was intense!” MC’s eyes flashed in amusement.

“Shut up!” Yoosung growled. She laughed and helped him with his apron. He kept gazing back at Saeran until he stood and left. He almost felt the sincerity in the man, but, he still couldn’t let go of the feeling he’d had when he’d first seen him. That anger was still there. So what that his brother was Hacker God. For all Yoosung knew, Hacker God was an asshole too.

“Hey…get your mind out of his ass and back at work.” MC teased.

“That’s not…!!! Oh, nevermind…” Yoosung grinned at his friend, shaking his head. If he protested, it would only fuel her teasing. But now he couldn’t stop thinking about his ass. It was a nice ass. He wondered what it would look like in his baseball uniform. Shit, work…right…work…

The next few hours seemed to drag. Yoosung’s attention kept returning to the front door, wondering if Saeran would actually be there when he was done with work. The distraction was having a detrimental affect on his performance. Usually he was very good at his job, but now he felt as if he was all thumbs. He’d overfilled the coffee grinder, spilled a drink as he was handing it to a customer, overbaked a tray of muffins and all the while had to deal with MC’s teasing. When the clock turned 10 he let out a huge sigh of relief.

“What’s your rush?” MC asked as Yoosung moved like lightning cleaning the equipment once they’d closed the shop. Usually they took their time and talked.

“I’m not rushing.” He objected, as he nearly dropped one of the expensive expresso machine components.

“Ok, give me that! What the hell Yoosung?” MC took it and placed it in the soapy water before grabbing the small brush to clean it out. “You’ve been wonky all day! Ever since ‘you know who’ was here.” She grinned.

“Sorry, it’s just…I told Saeran I got off at 10 and I think he’s waiting for me.” He answered sheepishly.

“Oh, I see.”

“Don’t tease!” Yoosung’s shoulders sagged as he sprayed the counter and began to wipe it down.

MC put her arm around him and squeezed him against her.

“I’m not going to tease you Yoosung. He seems really nice.”

“Nice, sure.”

“What is it?”

“You know how I told you about the guys at the con?”

“Uh huh.”

“He’s the one at the tournament.”

“The one you went off on? But, you said he wasn’t with those other assholes.”

“No, but, they’re his teammates, wouldn’t he be just like them?”

“From what I saw, he doesn’t seem like the asshole type. In fact, he’s kinda shy and sweet.”

“How would you know?”

“He comes in a lot. Always orders the same thing. Never any coffee, I don’t think he likes it. But ice cream, he can go to town on that!”

“He comes in a lot? How come I never saw him?” Yoosung turned to look at MC, honestly curious.

“Yeah, I don’t know, usually he comes in earlier, right before the lunch rush. Lately he’s been in later though.”

“So, you really think he’s nice?” Yoosung questioned, his eyebrow raised.

“I do. Cute too. I’ve seen him play, he’s pretty amazing.”

“You’ve gone to a baseball game?” Yoosung was suddenly very interested.

“Once, it was a date.” She rolled her eyes and went back to shove her hands in the dish water. “The date sucked, but the game was fun. That shock of red hair was hard to miss.” She giggled.

“Ah…” she continued after a few seconds of silence, “I tried to flirt with him when he first started coming in.” she admitted.

“What!?” Yoosung was shocked, he felt a pang of jealousy and he swallowed it down. He didn’t have the right to be jealous. Saeran was nothing to him…but did he want him to be?

MC laughed at his utterance. “Don’t worry, he wasn’t interested at all, in fact, I don’t think he even noticed. Besides, I like my men a little more…fun.” She finished with a grin and a wink.

“Oh…” he tried to play off his reaction as if it was nothing.

“Oh god Yoosung! You are seriously into this guy! Why fight it?”

“I am not!” he argued, eyes flashing, lips thinning out, fists on hips. MC simply laughed the louder.

“Shut up!”

“Look…” she took his cloth and the cleaner, untied his apron and pulled it over his head. She yanked the visor off his forehead and smoothed out his hair. “Go! I’ll finish up here, he’s waiting for you. Just, give him a chance ok?”

“Why do you care so much?” he asked, suddenly too nervous to move.

“Because I care about you. And I want you to be happy. One of us should be!” she pushed him towards the exit and Yoosung relented.

“OK, fine! Thank you.” He hugged her before turning away and walking towards the door.

Saeran leaned against the wall, one foot pressed against it. He fiddled with his phone and looked at the time yet again. 10:25 p.m. He’d tried to peek into the shop but the blinds were drawn and other than a light, he hadn’t seen anything. He assumed he was working in the back. He wondered if there was a back exit that Yossung had utilized, never intending to see him again. He shook his head. Yoosung didn’t seem like that kind of person. But he was beginning to waffle on that observation.

The door opened and Yoosung trotted out. He spotted Saeran easily and walked up to him. “I’m sorry. I forgot how long it takes to clean up, MC let me go early though. I should have come and told you. You could have waited inside. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, I’m really really sorry…”

“Yoosung!” Saeran held up his hand to stop Yoosung’s rapid fire apology. “It’s ok, really, I’m just glad you didn’t ditch me. I thought you’d made a break for it out the back or something.” Saeran laughed nervously.

“I would never do that!” Yoosung said, horrified.

“I know, I know, I was joking. I guess it wasn’t a very good joke.” Saeran stuck his hands into his pockets and shrugged, embarrassed. Seven was so much better at lightening a heavy mood.

“Oh, right. Funny.” Yoosung laughed and it made Saeran feel better. This boy was so kind it actually hurt. “I live this way, it’s not far, so…” he shrugged, and they started down the sidewalk.

There was an easy silence between them and Saeran enjoyed just being close to him. He kept his hands in his pockets because he had an uncontrollable urge to lace his fingers with Yoosung’s.

“So, you know MC?”

“Yeah, I see her a lot when I go in there.”

“Apparently.” Yoosung laughed. “Well, she’s seen you play.”

“Really?” Saeran was surprised.

“Yeah, a date took her to one of your games. She said you were ‘amazing’, her word.”

“That’s nice. I try to be the best I can be.”

“You really like baseball?” Yoosung couldn’t understand that kind of enjoyment. He was more of an ‘indoor’ kind of guy. Sports had never been one of his things.

“I love it! It’s something that I can control. Well, I can control what I do.”

“I’ve never been very talented in sports.”

“Neither have I.”

“What? But…”

Saeran laughed, “My talent comes from hours of practice. Sure, there are some people who are naturals, but even they have to practice, or they aren’t going to get far. I spend hours practicing so I can be the best I can be.”

“Why?” Yoosung was genuinely at a loss as to why anyone would do such a thing.

Saeran shrugged, “Like I said, it was something I could control. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment, something that is completely mine. It’s invigorating and satisfying. I guess I can’t really explain the thrill of it to someone who’s never known it. Oh, I know…you know how you felt in that moment right before you won the tournament? That moment you knew it was in your hands and the only way you were going to lose is if you made a mistake?”

They stopped, Saeran was so animated, his eyes shining, but yes, Yoosung knew exactly what he meant. He nodded.

“It’s like that! Every game is just like that! Even if we lose, I know that I’ve done the best I could.”

Yoosung smiled at his enthusiasm.

“Ahh…” Saeran rubbed the back of his neck, feeling awkward suddenly. He glanced around them, the sidewalk was relatively empty. Only a few university students walking around, book bags slung over their shoulders, looking like zombies who hadn’t slept in weeks.

“Come on, we’re almost there.” Yoosung continued to walk and Saeran followed him. “I wish I could find something that I could feel passionate about like that.” He sighed wistfully.

“You seemed pretty passionate about LOLOL.” Saeran urged.

Yoosung shrugged. “That’s not the same. It’s just a game. I like it, but, it isn’t something that makes me proud you know?”

“Yeah, I guess.” They fell silent, but it was still comfortable. Saeran racked his brain, trying to find something else to talk about so he could keep hearing Yoosung’s voice, before they were once again settled enough for them to continue their previous conversation.

 

“So...what’s your major?” he asked flipantly.

Yoosung eyed him sideways with a smirk on his face.

“Wow, yeah, that sounded cheesy even to me.” Saeran laughed. Yoosung’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of that laugh.

“Yeah, right up there with, ‘what’s your sign’?” Yoosung chuckled good naturedly. Saeran joined him. It was a nice relief.

“But if you really want to know, veterinary medicine.” Yoosung offered.

“Really?” Seran asked dubioulsy.

“Yes really, why? Don’t you think I’m smart enough to be a vet?” Yoosung snarked.

“No! That’s not...” Saeran stopped when he saw that Yoosung was just teasing him. “Funny, haha.” God, he’d never felt so at ease with anyone in his life besides his brother. Yoosung was like a calming balm in his tumultuous world. He studied his profile, photos didn’t do his beauty any justice. He wanted to run his fingers through his fluffy hair. Wanted those brilliant eyes to look at him with affection. Wanted to feel his slender fingers tangled in his own rough ones.

“You’re staring.” Yoosung smiled.

“Oh, sorry.” Saeran turned his attention back to the front.

“It’s ok, I’m just...not used to that kind of attention.” Yoosung blushed, pushing the strands of his hair behind his ear. He’d forgotten his hair clips.

“I’m surprised, it’s hard not to look at you...uh...I mean...gah...” it was Saeran’s turn to blush, slapping his hand across his face. Yoosung laughed.

“I guess neither of us is very good at this.” he conceded.

“This?” Saeran arched an eyebrow.

“Let’s just...put a pin in that...we’re here.” Yoosung skipped up the few steps in front of an apartment building and keyed in a security code then opened the door, holding it for Saeran.

“You sure?” Saeran asked, not wanting Yoosung to feel as if he had to let him into his apartment.

“MC vouched for you, so, yeah.” Yoosung grinned, motioning him in.

“That was nice of her! I’ll need to make sure to leave bigger tips in the future.”

Yoosung laughed and followed him in, leading him to the elevator. “Oh thank goodness it’s woriking!” Yoosung was relieved. It was hit or miss and he lived on the 9th floor. As they waited for the elevator, they were so close, their hands grazed against each other. It sent a shiver through Yoosung to be in contact with him. He tried to hold on to the anger he’d felt at their first meeting, but Saeran was making it hard. MC was right, he seemed shy and sweet. They stepped into the cab of the elevator as the doors opened, Yoosung hit the button to his floor.

They rode up in silence. Saeran was beginning to feel nervous again. But why? It wasn’t as if Yoosung hadn’t figured out Saeran liked him. What was the big secret really? He’d never admitted it to anyone, not even Saeyoung really, he’d just known. Telling someone, anyone besides Seayoung, was daunting. Knowing that the words were going to come out of his mouth and he would not be able to take them back. It was enough for his anxiety to start acting up. Great, the last thing he needed was to have a meltdown in front of Yoosung, he would never want to see him again!

He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled his pills out. He popped the top and fished one out, swallowing it dry. Yoosung watched him, but didn’t ask, he recognized the signs of anxiety. He'd thought about seeing a doctor and getting medication for himself as well, but that would mean admitting he was far enough gone for medical help. He was the last person that was going to judge anyone for needing medication to cope. He used other coping mechanisms that were less reliable and probably more addictive.

At his floor they got off and Yoosung let them into his apartment. It was small, almost claustrophobically so. Saeran didn’t feel claustrophobic however, it was homey and warm. There was a small tv on a table against the far wall, a threadbare blue loveseat in front of it and no coffee table, there wasn’t room for one. There was a tiny kitchenette that barely had room for a medium sized refrigerator, a stove, and some counter space.

“It isn’t much but...” he dropped the sentence as he closed the door behid Saeran.

“It’s nice, I like it.”

“Yeah, sure.” Yoosung scoffed, but smiled nontheless. It might not be much, but it was home. He didn’t need a lot, having to deal with more space would be a chore and too dibilitating. He ran around the small area picking up his dirty clothes and shoes. There were dirty dishes on the table by the tv and covering the counters. “Sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone.”

“It’s fine, you don’t need to do that.” Yoosung disappeared into the small hallway with his clothes then was back.

“I...I can make some tea, or, um, well, that’s all I have, heh.” he ran his fingers through his hair, he’d never had anyone over to his place, he was trying to rememmber how his other did things whenshe had guests. E really didn’t have anything to offer.

“I’m fine Yoosung, you don’t have to put yourself out on my account.”

“No no...I want to, my mother would be mortified if I didn’t offer you something. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll get the tea made, or, would you rather have coffee?” he offered before remembering MC had said she thought he didn’t like coffee.

“Tea is fine. Saeran responded as he dropped onto the soft sofa. It was well worn but still bery much comfortable.

It took Yoosung a few minutes to get everything for the tea. He brought it over on a wooden tray but realized there was nowhere to set it.

“Oh...” his face fell.

“Here.” Saeran slid onto the floor and scooted over so Yoosung could sit next to him and set the tray on the floor. Yoosung smiled gratefully and did just that.

“Great idea.” He settled in and poured the tea into the mismatched cups. His was a fish design and Saeran’s was a whale with a fin for the handle. He felt incredibly grown up. They sipped their tea a little before Yoosung finally looked at Saeran expectantly.

Saeran sighed and set his cup down.

“No one knows.” He said in hushed tones.

“No one knows what?” Yoosung encouraged.

“You know what.” Saeran’s amber eyes pleaded with Yoosung, begging him not to make him say the words out loud.

“No one knows what Saeran?” Yoosung asked again, more gently, dropping his hand over Saeran’s.

Saeran wanted to look away, but he was captured by those amethyst eyes.

“That I’m gay.” He breathed.

“Well, now someone does, and the world didn’t fall apart, did it?” he smiled sincerely.

“It’s not the same and you know it. If I told the team, guys I’ve been showering with for the past year, how do you think they’re going to react? Look what they did at the con. It will be that, and worse for me.”

Yoosung took a deep sigh and nodded in ascent. “Yeah, but, what’s it doing to you to keep this secret?”

“Nothing! At least, not until…”

“Until?”

“Until you.”

“This can’t be about me, it has to be about you. I don’t like what those guys did, not just to me, but to my friends and everyone who was just there to enjoy themselves. People don’t deserve to be treated that way for someone elses amusement.” Yoosung could feel himself getting angry again.

“I know, I know…I feel guilty as fuck and I know I’m selfish for trying to protect myself, trying to keep the peace and not stir up anything! I’m a coward and I know it.” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

Yoosung put an arm over his shoulders and held him. He knew all about not wanting to rock the boat.

“Yoosung…” he looked into his eyes, tears glistening in the amber depths. “I…I really like you.”

Yoosung looked away, embarrassed. “I…I think I really like you too.” He admitted.


	5. Heart or Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No edits, so there might be mistakes! I'm such a terrible writer!!!! Let me know if there are mistakes.  
> YOORAN FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!

Saeran’s hand was on his cheek, caressing it gently. They were so close, they shared the same breath. Saeran’s heart raced against his chest, the thumping so loud in his ears he thought it would burst his eardrums. Yoosung’s lips parted, the tip of his pink tongue darting out for a split second. Saeran swallowed, the pressure in his head so fierce he thought he would pass out. Yoosung’s face blurred for an instant before he could refocus.

He leaned forward, wanting nothing more than to taste those beautiful lips. He was afraid Yoosung would pull away, but he didn’t. He felt his hand on his chest, grasping his shirt. Yoosung’s eyes traveled across his face, glistening with what he hoped was desire. Saeran closed his eyes and pressed his lips against the blonde’s. Yoosung stiffened and for a split second, Saeran was terrified he would be pushed away, but the boy melted in his arms with a soft sigh and a delicious moan. Yoosung leaned against him heavily and pushed Saeran off balance, he fell backwards, Yoosung on top of him, Searan’s left leg shot out and they heard the tea rattle and ceramic breaking.

“Oh shit!” Saeran exclaimed, but Yoosung was laughing against his chest. Saeran’s arms encircled him lightly, then with more confidence. He was warm, and comforting, his hair tickling under his chin.

“Sorry.” He apologized once Yoosung had gotten a hold of himself.

“It’s ok.” He got up on his knees and Saeran was disappointed to lose the weight of the beautiful boy. He got to his feet and went to grab a towel, the broom, and a dustpan. Saeran took the towel from him and soaked up the liquid, he’d broken the whale cup and somehow, that was a little sad. He hoped it wasn’t meaningful to Yoosung.

“I…I’ll buy you a new one.” He offered.

“Don’t worry about it.” Yoosung stated sweetly, placing his hand over Saeran’s briefly. It made his heart flutter, the temperature rising intensely. Did he know what he was doing to him? No, he probably didn’t. They worked together to clean up the mess, the pieces of the ceramic cup tossed in the trash, and Yoosung put away the broom and dust pan, tossing the towel onto the small kitchen sink. Saeran placed the tray with the teapot and the other cup on the counter and they stood in the kitchenette, which was barely big enough for one person, let alone two. The silence was awkward, but Saeran wasn’t sure what to do, or say.

“Can we...try that again?” Yoosung asked shyly.

“I’d like that.” Saeran responded. He placed his hands on Yoosung’s hips and pulled him close. Yoosung’s hands ran up Saeran’s chest and behind his neck. Their bodies pressed against each other, chest to chest, crotch to crotch. Yoosung moaned as their lips met, the sound vibrating down Saeran’s body, stirring his cock. He pushed away, their lips smacking apart with a pop and a whine from Yoosung, whose eyes flashed with embarrassment. They both huffed as they tried to get their breathing back under control.

To hide his flush, Yoosung buried his face in Saeran’s chest. Saeran kissed the top of his head and held him close with a contented sigh. They stayed that way, Saeran running his hand up and down Yoosung’s back and Yoosung humming complacently, until Yoosung took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Is something wrong?” Saeran asked, feeling how Yoosung suddenly stiffened against him.

“No…yes…maybe? I don’t know.” Yoosung sighed deeply again and pulled away from Saeran.

“O…k…” Saeran didn’t know how to react to that.

“It’s just…” Yoosung shrugged, letting go of Saeran, who felt a cold sweat run down his spine. “I just don’t know…about…us.” His purple eyes glistened with emotion as he finally met Saeran’s gaze.

“What don’t you know?” Saeran crossed his arms defensively but knew it would be no use if Yoosung decided to stab his heart again.

Yoosung turned away and ran his hand through his hair. “I mean, we don’t really know each other. I don’t really know you. And…how can I trust you aren’t like your teammates?” he looked at Saeran, his body language unreadable, but his eyes showed how true his words were.

“What can I do?” Saeran asked in aching defeat.

“I’m not sure there’s anything you can do.” Yoosung’s shoulders slumped as he bit his lip.

“I see. Ok…I’ll…I…Yoo…” Saeran didn’t know what to say. He’d tried to make his feet move. To leave. He wanted to run. But he was rooted to the spot. He felt his anxiety rise again but didn’t want to take another pill. He did his breathing exercises shakily and clutched at the counter behind him, his knuckles white.

Yoosung wedged himself between Saeran’s legs and cupped his face in his hands, “Hey…don’t…I…” he sighed and wrapped his arms around Saeran’s shoulders and held him tight. Saeran let go of the counter and hugged Yoosung, crushing his ribcage.

“Too tight…” Yoosung complained and Saeran loosened his hold.

“Sorry.” He chuckled sadly. Yoosung was giving him so many mixed signals, he didn’t know if he should be happy, or break down and sob. There were tears in his eyes and he wiped them away with a sniff.

“Maybe, we can take things slow. Get to know each other.” Yoosung suggested. Saeran nodded eagerly, making Yoosung burst out laughing at his enthusiasm. His head and his heart were not in agreement and he had to figure out what he wanted. But he couldn’t let Saeran walk out of his life, not when he made him feel like this. And that kiss! God that kiss! He should push him away. He should demand that he leave his apartment. Why had he brought him here?

MC, it was MC who encouraged him! No, it was his eyes. Saeran’s eyes that convinced him to give him a chance. He felt guilty. Was he leading Saeran on? But how could he make an accurate choice when he didn’t know how to deal with these conflicting feelings and thoughts? Whatever his brain said, his body curled around the red-head, hands in his hair, chest against chest, lips on lips in frenzied desire.

* * *

 

“Well?” MC prodded, bumping her hip against his as they enjoyed a brief lull before the University students piled in after the six o’clock classes. They would be coming in in droves to get that caffeine that would hopefully keep them awake long enough to finish some classwork.

“Well what?” Yoosung dodged again. He tried to pretend he was cleaning the coffee bar, but MC yanked the towel out of his hands.

“You know what!” she swatted him with the towel playfully, her eyes flashing with humor.

“Ok, ok…” Yoosung gave in. He leaned against the counter, a wistful look on his face. “It was…nice.” He smiled, a soft blush across his cheeks and nose.

“Nice huh? How nice?” MC leaned her hip against the counter next to Yoosung, her elbow on the hard surface, the towel slung over her shoulder.

“Very, he…he kissed me.” Yoosung admitted in almost a reverent whisper.

“Kissed? Oh my god Yoosung! You slut!” she laughed, punching his shoulder.

“Stop!” Yoosung joined her laughter.

MC plopped both elbows on the counter and set her chin on her palms. “Tell me! Is he a good kisser?”

Yoosung shrugged, turning and leaning back against the counter. MC stood so she could see his face.

“I guess. I mean. I really liked it. But, I don’t have anything to compare it to.” He chuckled self-deprecatingly.

“What? What do you mean?” MC asked, confused.

“It was my first kiss, so…”

“First…? Oh! I…I didn’t know.”

“It’s ok, I know, it’s pretty pathetic.” Yoosung ducked his head, embarrassed.

“That’s not pathetic! That’s wonderful! So, a really great first kiss then?” she prodded some more.

Yoosung’s grin grew wider as he nodded, “A really really great first kiss.” His blush deepened.

“So, then, things are good?” she questioned with an arch of her brow.

Yoosung shrugged absently, “Maybe? I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? You like him don’t you?”

“Yeah, I do, but…I’m still not sure of who he really is. He seemed sweet, shy, nice, but, I don’t know what he’s like when he’s around his teammates. What if he turns into one of those guys? And, they don’t know he’s gay. What does that mean for us? If there is an us? Does that mean we have to keep it a secret? I don’t want a relationship like that.”

MC sighed, “So? Then what?”

“So, I don’t know.”

“Yoosung, maybe…” MC was cut off as a few people walked into the shop. She sighed, it would be several hours before they would be able to speak privately again. Yoosung almost glared at the students walking in before he got a hold of himself once more. It wasn’t their fault that they walked into a serious discussion. He was so thankful to have MC to talk to about this. His friends didn’t have any experience in relationships and they were more likely to just make fun of him for falling for a jock, or worse, get angry with him for the betrayal.

He kept glancing towards the door and it was hours into his shift before he realized he was looking for Saeran. He chastised himself. He wasn’t going to be one of those people who turned into a puppy dog with their whole world revolving on their significant other. Even though that’s exactly how he had always imagined things to be when he finally got a girlfriend…boyfriend?? So why was he being so resistant? Was that it? Because Saeran didn’t fit his romanticized imagination? He was attractive. Sexy. Smart. And pretty much everything he always considered to be good qualities in a romantic partner. The fact that he was attracted to Saeran didn’t freak him out, he’d always felt he responded more to a person’s personality than to their gender. But in his imagination, he’d always just assumed he would get a girlfriend.

The bell above the door rang again and Yoosung looked up eagerly. It was a short girl with dark brown hair and over-sized glasses. His shoulders sagged, and he continued to make the iced cafe mocha, adding the whipped cream on top and calling out the name on the cup. A blonde boy took it with a quick “Thank you,” and Yoosung nodded with a smile, his eyes sliding towards the door once more. He growled quietly, berating himself and shaking his head. Who was he kidding? Saeran had already infiltrated his every thought. He hadn’t been able to sleep the night before, recalling their kiss over and over. His body’s temperature had risen quickly, and he’d ended up masturbating to try and get some relief. It hadn’t helped. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Saeran, remembered his touch, his smell, the feel of his skin. It had been a very frustrating night.

“Yoosung!?” MC blared into his ear, tapping his shoulder painfully.

“Ouch!” he took a step back and rubbed the offended area.

“Well, maybe if your head wasn’t in the clouds, I wouldn’t have to get physical!” she had her hands on her hips and Yoosung wondered how long she had been trying to get his attention. He ducked his head and smiled sheepishly.

“I need an Iced Vanilla Bean Coconutmilk Latte for Jintao. Can you manage that? Or should I do it?” her tone was harsh, but there was a glint in her honey brown eyes that belied it.

“I think I can manage.” Yoosung smirked. MC rolled her eyes, but chuckled as she turned back to the next costumer.

“You should listen to your heart. You have a good one and I don’t think it will steer you wrong.” She whispered over her shoulder. Yoosung heard her words and immediately tried to resist them. He wasn’t sure he agreed. He’d never tested his ability to choose a good partner. In fact, it had always been so difficult to find someone that he truly wanted to take a chance on. So much so that eventually, he’d even stopped looking. Saeran was unexpected. But was that such a bad thing?

The bell rang again and like Pavlov’s dog, his eyes raked across the room and locked onto amber colored orbs. His jaw dropped, his breathing became harsher, his heart thudded as if it was a jackhammer making its way out of his chest, his palms became so clammy he was having difficulty holding on to the pitcher. He set it down and wiped his hands on his apron. Saeran got in line behind a tall, dark haired business man. Yoosung’s ears thrummed and he swallowed with great difficulty when he looked up once more and Saeran smiled at him. Yoosung felt his face smile back.

“Oh K loverboy!” MC took things out of his hands and shoved him towards the register. “How about I do this, and you take the orders, hmm?” Yoosung blinked and nodded absently. He had to force himself to listen to the orders, his hands shaking as he took money, or pressed the buttons. He hoped he hadn’t gotten any order wrong. Finally, Saeran stood before him.

“Hi.” He said with a grin, amber eyes gorgeous beyond belief.

“Hi.” He responded with a sigh.

“Can I have a banana split. One scoop of mint chocolate chip, one strawberry, and one of your choice.” He ordered.

“Would you like whipped cream with that?”

“Absolutely, and cherries on top.”

“Any syrup?”

“Fudge, and caramel, oh, and nuts.” Yoosung giggled and rang him up. Fingers touched as Saeran gave him his card, and Yoosung blushed from the top of his ears to the tips of his toes. He gave the card back and began to scoop out the ice cream.

“You look upset.” Saeran noted.

“Well, I thought this guy was going to call me and ask me out on a date, but, he never did.” Yoosung answered cheekily.

“Really? That guy must be an idiot!” Saeran sneered.

“Right? I think so too.”

“Since he didn’t call you, does that mean I have a shot?” Saeran raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“Maybe.” Yoosung shrugged.

“When’s your next day off?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? Oh, hmm, that’s kinda soon…I don’t know…” Saeran tapped his chin with his finger as if he was mulling something important over. Yoosung dropped the banana split on the glass case in front of Saeran and glared at the man.

Saeran grinned, grabbing the ice cream and wanting desperately to kiss the boy.

“I think I can make that happen.” He capitulated.

“Oh, gosh, don’t put yourself out or anything!” Yoosung jutted his hip out and pouted.

“Shit!” Saeran huffed.

Yoosung’s eyebrows crawled up his forehead.

“You’re beautiful.” Saeran finished. Yoosung chuckled, embarrassed once more, looking away.

“Care to share this with me?” he asked.

“Um, I, I’m…still…working…”

“Go.” MC shoved Yoosung, the evening rush was dying down and she’d be able to handle things without him. “Take your break, I’ll let you know if I need your help.” She gave Saeran a conspiratorial wink behind Yoosung’s shoulder.

“Are you sure?” Yoosung asked eagerly.

“Positive.”

“Thank you.” Saeran told MC.

They sat at a small table by the window, each with their own spoon.

“I missed you today.” Saeran admitted.

“I missed you too.” Yoosung answered honestly.


	6. Fuck Saeran Choi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW

Yoosung lay on his back, his eyes scanning the popcorn ceiling idly. A smile played around his face and he sighed deeply. His finger ran across his lower lip, the memories of Saeran’s kiss still lingering there. He closed his eyes and recalled the incredible whirlwind of the past couple of weeks.

They’d gone on several dates, if they could be called that. Mostly they just hung out and did things. The first time Saeran had held his hand in public his entire body had seemed to vibrate. Saeran had teased him about how much he’d blushed. But it didn’t matter. His head felt full of cotton and time stood still when they were together.

Saeran had kissed him under a huge lush tree whose leaves had not yet begun to turn. As if on queue as soon as their lips met, the wind picked up, rustling the leaves in the tree and picking up the few on the ground to swirl around them. Yoosung thought he was going to die, it was too difficult to breathe. His head buzzed, and a soft moan had escaped his throat when he’d felt Saeran’s tongue invade his mouth. His fingers dug into the thick red curls and clung to him, reality fading away into the distance. No matter how many kisses they shared, it still felt like the first time.

The tip of his tongue slipped out and wet his lips at the thought, his teeth biting his lower lip and he felt the blood rush through him, heating up at the thought of the man. He covered his face with his hands and squealed like a girl. Jesus fuck but was he head over heels for this guy. But why then did he still feel like there was something missing?

It wasn’t as if he was hiding their relationship, in fact, they often went out and Saeran was never resistant to public displays of affection. Yoosung sat up, crossing his legs and setting his chin on his hands, elbows on his thighs. Was he being unreasonable? MC thought so. She couldn’t understand why he was still hesitant to devote himself completely to the relationship.

The buzzer startled him, his heart racing at the intrusion. He glanced at the clock at his bedside. 7 a.m. Who could possibly be at his door this early? He scooted off the bed, grabbing his discarded t-shirt from the floor and shoving it over his tousled hair. He shuffled to the intercom and hit the button.

“Hello?” he asked.

“Good morning sleepy head. I thought you could use some coffee and pastries. Or…I could just…leave.”

Yoosung grinned, wide awake now. “Don’t you dare!” he buzzed Saeran in and waited to hear him outside his door. He pulled the door open before Saeran could even try and knock. His freckled face broke into crooked smile. Yoosung yanked him inside, being careful not to knock over the coffee tray and wrapped his arms around Saeran’s neck, pulling him into a deep kiss.

“Wow…I should bring breakfast more often.” Saeran whispered breathlessly once they came up for air. Yoosung blushed and laughed nervously.

He set the items on the small kitchen counter and quickly turned back to pull Yoosung in a tight embrace. Their lips met again, and they were once more left breathless.

“We should take this to the bedroom. Breakfast can wait.” Saeran teased huskily.

Yoosung’s eyes sparkled as they widened. His lips parted and he nodded. “Ok.” He huffed quietly.

“What? Really? Are…are you sure?” Saeran was startled, he hadn’t expected that answer. He knew Yoosung was even less experienced than he was and more inclined to wait before having sex. “I…I don’t want to push you. We can wait, I was just…teasing really.”

“Oh, you…you don’t want to?” Yoosung asked, eyebrows furrowed worriedly.

“Of course I want to!” Saeran corrected him. “I just don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you.”

Yoosung’s smile captivated him with its brilliance.

Yoosung pulled him down and planted his lips on his, his tongue invading between his teeth and swirling around his own. He snagged his tongue and sucked it as he ground his slender body against Saeran, wrapping his right leg around Saeran’s left leg.

He jumped on Saeran, wrapping his legs around the red-head, forehead to forehead.

“Let’s go.” He gasped, lips swollen from the passionate kiss. Saeran didn’t argue as he turned, hands under Yoosung’s ample ass and headed towards the back bedroom. He buried his face in Yoosung’s neck, biting down on the soft flesh and eliciting a deliciously erotic groan from Yoosung. He could feel the man’s erection pressed against his belly and it sent his belly into a roiling frenzy that made his core tingle and his cock twitch.

He slammed Yoosung against the door frame as he tried to navigate through it, causing Yoosung to giggle and nose into Saeran’s thick curls, arms clinging to his shoulders. Saeran laughed, his chest rumbling. They fell onto the bed, Saeran between Yoosung’s legs. Pulling apart, they gazed at each other, all signs of mirth evaporating as they stared into each other’s eyes.

“Are you sure?” Saeran asked once more.

“Positive.” Yoosung answered, his hands sliding from around his shoulders and down his chest, his belly, and slipping behind his waist, his fingers digging into his flesh desperately.

Saeran captured his mouth, biting Yoosung’s bottom lip.

“Hnghh…” Yoosung thrust his hips into Saeran’s crotch, his fingers clutching and groping his ass. Saeran yanked Yoosung’s t-shirt up and over his head and descended on his chest, nipping, biting, sucking across his collar bone, down his sternum and across to his right nipple. He took the tender nub between his lips and sucked on it gently. Yoosung undulated beneath him, his hands suddenly tangled in his red curls.

“Hahh…hnghh…ahhh…” Yoosung’s head was thrown back, his chest rising and falling desperately. Saeran pushed his pajama bottoms down and he lifted his ass to help him slide it all the way to his feet. He kicked them off, aware of how naked he now was while Saeran was still fully clothed.

Saeran sat back on his heels, his eyes hungrily devouring the sight before him. He grinned as he saw the flush deepening Yoosung’s skin a bright pink. He pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, hurriedly untying his boots and tossing them aside. He stood and pulled his shirt off, then started in on his jeans. Yoosung watched, fascinated. There were scars on Saeran’s body, but his mind buzzed with desire, they didn’t even register. He ached to reach out and touch the flesh.

Saeran stepped out of his jeans and divested himself of his underwear. Yoosung giggled at the sight of the magnificent erection. Saeran smirked as he climbed back on top of Yoosung. He laid a tender and almost chaste kiss on the blonde with a deep and satisfied sigh.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered against his lips, eyes glazed with yearning. Yoosung hummed contentedly, goosebumps erupting across his flesh. Saeran made his way slowly down his chest. Agonizingly slowly. Yoosung was hard pressed not to set his palms on his shoulders and push him down. His cock was vibrating with need. His head was reeling with anticipation. Thought was non-existent and all that mattered was what was between his legs and getting Saeran there.

He shifted beneath the red-head and growled in frustration. Saeran paid him no mind, enjoying his journey. He pinched Yoosung’s left nipple and was rewarded with a sharp gasp. He bit into the soft flesh and Yoosung’s reaction was electrifying. It seemed as if the blonde preferred sexual pain. He took another bite, just above his groin and sucked on the mark. There would be some impressive bruising on the man’s body tomorrow. When he finally reached Yoosung’s cock, his hand seemed to tremble. He grasped it and Yoosung stopped breathing. He pumped the soft shaft and licked the tip. Yoosung expelled his breath in a hard rush, his lungs burning.

Saeran hummed softly as he slipped his mouth around the tip and down the length.

“Hnghh…hahh…ahhh…fffff…..” Yoosung was incoherent, his back arching, head lolling from side to side. He felt drool slip from the corner of his mouth but was beyond caring.

Saeran sucked on Yoosung’s cock, hollowing out his cheeks and adding pressure against the shaft. He grasped Yoosung’s balls with one hand, kneading the egg-shaped testicles between his fingers. With his other hand, he groped his inner thigh, raking his fingernails up and down the creamy flesh.

He worked on Yoosung, extending the moment as much as he could. When he felt that Yoosung was close, the blood pumping furiously through the veins of his cock, heating the shaft noticeably, he would slow down, open his mouth, cool it down, much to the frustration of the blonde, who would writhe beneath Saeran, fingers in his hair, shoving the man’s head down and thrusting upwards desperately.

Saeran was enjoying the control he had over the younger man.

“Ffff…fuck…FUCK! Sae…SSS…ple…ase…ahhh!!” Yoosung rasped, biting the pillow and ripping the case.

Saeran decided to put him out of his misery. He sped up, his head bobbing to the rhythm of Yoosung’s hips. It didn’t take long for Yoosung to shoot his load, the cum hitting the back of his throat like a speeding bullet. Saeran gagged at the initial gush, but he swallowed it down, sucking him dry until Yoosung’s body stopped convulsing and his back fell back onto the mattress, his energy expired.

His chest rose and fell as he tried to catch his breath once more. Saeran lazily made his way back up his body, leaving soft kisses and wet trails with his tongue. Yoosung’s skin tasted salty from his sweat. He wedged himself between Yoosung’s legs, arms sliding beneath the other man and finally kissed his swollen lips gently. They kissed for several minutes, hands lazily circling patches on flushed skin.

Yoosung’s phone rang, jerking them out of their shared bliss. Yoosung turned towards the phone on the nightstand and moved towards it. Saeran grabbed his arm and slung it back around his waist.

“Leave it.” He ordered huskily. Yoosung didn’t hesitate to obey, letting the phone ring until it went to voicemail, he quickly put it out of his mind as Saeran’s lips once more captured his. Yoosung bucked his hips and flipped Saeran onto his back, then straddled the taller man. He locked their lips together and hummed with satisfaction, pushing Saeran’s arms over his head, holding them down by his wrists on the bed.

“My turn.” He whispered, their lips grazing against each other, his tongue flicking out playfully. Saeran’s pupils were blown out, his amber eyes lidded, chest heaving rapidly. Yoosung used his mouth to blaze a trail from Saeran’s jaw, down his neck, over his collar bone, stopping briefly to suck on his nipple, his tongue swirling around the hardened nub. He continued over his chest, down his belly, flicking his belly button with the tip of his tongue, causing Saeran to take a sharp intake of breath, his belly caving in.

He ran his cheek along Saeran’s stiff shaft. It was the softest thing he’d ever felt. Saeran mewled, his hands trying to grasp the headboard, but it was solid wood with nothing to grab on to. When he felt Yoosung’s breath on his cock he clawed at the mattress, clutching the sheets, his muscles burning with the effort.

Yoosung didn’t waste any time in swallowing Saeran’s cock. He wanted to make him cum, wanted to feel the hot stream down his throat, wanted to bask in the glow of a powerful orgasm. His hand slid up Saeran’s chest and they tangled their fingers together. Yoosung pushed against the man and Saeran grasped Yoosung’s hand, trying to keep a level head. It didn’t work. Yoosung sucked on him hard and fast, the tip of his tongue flicking his hole, his teeth grazing the soft and sensitive flesh of his cock. He wanted to watch him, wanted to see those lips wrapped around his shaft, watch those amethyst eyes glancing up at him. But his body had other ideas. He was no longer in control. His head was thrown back, back arched almost painfully, his breathing stuck in his throat. It sounded as if he was keening and he couldn’t stop himself.

“FF…Yoo…ahhh…gahhh…Hnghhh….” His ass was clenched, his muscles stiff, the blood rushing to his head and seeming to stop there. It felt as if he was going to pass out. His orgasm hit him hard and fast, spreading across his body, radiating to his extremities in a shock-wave of electricity. He slammed onto the bed, huffing and puffing. When he opened his eyes, he saw Yoosung wiping his mouth, cum was still dribbling from the corners, but shit did he look like the most beautiful thing in the world. He pulled the man down and kissed him, not caring about those dribbles and just wanting to live in this moment forever.

They tangled their limbs together, laying side by side, their kisses passionate and lingering. The phone rang again and Yoosung finally pushed away and eyed it with annoyance. With a huff he pushed up on his elbows and looked at the name flashing across the small screen. He yelped and sat up, snatching the phone and staring at it.

4 missed calls from MOM

“Shit.” He slapped his hand across his mouth, as if his mother could hear him through the unanswered phone.

He flipped it open and hit answer.

“Mom?” he croaked. Clearing his throat he tried again. “Mom? Is something wrong?”

“You tell me. It’s almost ten in the morning and you weren’t answering. Were you asleep? You sound like you’re still asleep.”

“No, no, I’m…I’m awake.” Saeran laughed quietly as he sat up. He ran his fingers across Yoosung’s shoulders and began to kiss his back.

“Hmm…” Yoosung closed his eyes and leaned against the man.

“Yoosung? What’s going on?” his mother’s voice snapped him out of his bliss once more and Yoosung glared at Saeran, who continued to try and distract him with his hands and his mouth. It was difficult for Yoosung to think clearly.

“Nothing…nothing, uh, what…I mean…did you need to talk to me?” he was exasperated, trying to push Saeran away, but only halfheartedly.

“Your aunt and uncle are visiting this weekend and I was hoping you could come and say hello. This might be a good time to bring a special friend home as well.” She prodded. “If you had one that is.” She was fishing and Yoosung felt caught in a whirlwind. He eyed Saeran sideways and gulped. Standing he pressed the phone close to his ear and tried to whisper.

“I…I’m not seeing anyone mom.” He glanced at the red head and was instantly aware that he’d heard.

Saeran looked away and scooted off the bed. He bent and collected his clothes, putting them on, his face an unreadable mask. Yoosung reached out to him, but Saeran pulled away.

“Oh well, a mom can hope. You really need to get a move on that Yoosung. Girls aren’t going to just fall into your lap. Will you be coming?” she asked, already letting the other matter drop, but the damage was done.

“Uh, yes, I’ll be there. I really need to go now mom, I have a lot to do. I’ll call you later ok?”

“Ok darling, don’t work too hard. Good-bye.”

“Bye.” He clicked his phone shut and tossed it on the bed, pulling his pajama pants back on.

“Saeran!” the man had walked out and into the bathroom to finish dressing. He sat on the toilet, pulling his boots back on. “I’m sorry…it’s just…I…ahh…” what was there to say? They’d just fucked, and he’d told his mother he wasn’t seeing anyone.

“What do you want Yoosung? Just, tell me, because I’m confused. Most of the time it seems as if you can’t get enough of me and then there are times when it feels as if you’re pulling away from me, or, I don’t know, something’s missing and I don’t know how to make it whole.”

Yoosung blinked. He knew what he did wasn’t fair to Saeran, but he was right, most of the time Yoosung felt the strongest attraction to the man, but his fears held him back from giving all of himself over to it. His shoulders drooped in defeat.

“I don’t know. It’s just, I can’t stop feeling that you’re going to turn into one of those jerks on your team and this is all some sort of elaborate plan to fuck with me.”

“Are you serious?” Saeran stood, pain and hurt written all over his face. He shoved past Yoosung and headed towards the door. He stopped abruptly as Yoosung muttered behind him, turning he blasted him, “I know what I want Yoosung, I think you need to figure out what it is that you want.”

“Do you? Do you really?” Yoosung shot back, defensive now that he felt attacked.

“Yes. You. I want you. I’ve never wavered on that!” Saeran scowled, looming over Yoosung.

“Then why haven’t you told your team about us? Why are we still a secret? You’re doing the same thing I am so why are you yelling at me?” Yoosung blurted.

“It’s not the same! My family knows about us, and it isn’t as if I’m trying to hide you! And no, I haven’t told my team mates but that’s for my safety and yours! You know what they’re capable of.” Saeran hissed through his teeth. It wasn’t as harsh as how he’d started because he knew Yoosung wasn’t that wrong. He just didn’t want to deal with the bullshit that would come down on him once he came out to his team.

“Bullshit! Maybe you should think about what it is you want too!” Yoosung spat.

Saeran backed down and shook his head.

“I know what I want Yoosung.” The look he gave the blonde was one of disappointment. “I don’t think we should see each other again until you decide what it is that you want.” Yoosung was taken aback, tears springing to his eyes as Saeran turned back around and walked out the door. The sound of the door closing was like a death knell. He blinked slowly and shuffled back into his bedroom. The smell of their lovemaking still lingered in the air and the tears finally fell, his breath hitching, shoulders shaking, as he burst out into a painful sob. He threw himself on the bed and curled around his pillow. How had his entire life turned upside down in the span of a few hours?

Fuck Saeran Choi! He didn’t need him anyway!


	7. What I want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went overboard on this chapter.   
> Violence. Slurs. Hate Speech.  
> Also, no editing, again......

Seven watched Saeran as he shuffled from his bedroom to the kitchen, grabbing his third bowl of cereal, and shuffling back. He’d missed two days of classes and baseball practices before he had had to step in and force his brother to go. He’d been angry, but he’d gone. He wasn’t sure if he was learning anything, but knowing Saeran, he probably already knew the entire textbook inside and out, not to mention, was probably more knowledgeable about the subject than the professor. Still, he had hoped going would be good for him.

Unfortunately, he was still moping around the house, staring at his phone, and sighing with the emotional fortitude of a Korean drama. Any time he had tried to bring up Yoosung Saeran practically bit his head off or stomped out of the room with a glare. He wasn’t sure exactly what had happened, but it obviously wasn’t good.

Saeran’s last game had been a disaster as well. His head just wasn’t in it any more. Seven usually stayed away from his games or might show up heavily disguised. No one knew that Saeran had a twin at all really. Seven did better in the shadows. But he was so worried about his brother that he had been a bit more daring in the past few weeks.

When Saeran’s door closed forcefully Seven grabbed his hoodie and walked out. Enough was enough, time to take matters into his own hands.

* * *

 

With his hood up Seven glanced around the coffee shop. It was early evening and there were several tables full of University students. This was a bad idea. He pulled his hand away from the door and was about to turn when he saw the blonde come out from the back. Damn...without a second thought, he pushed his way through the door and got in line. There was a pretty girl at the register with a lovely smile. Seven kept peeking at her over the other customer’s shoulders. He wondered if this was the MC Saeran talked about. He never mentioned how beautiful she was. Their eyes met for a brief second and Seven ducked behind the man in front of him. He cleared his throat and tried to regain his equilibrium. This was about Saeran and Yoosung.

When it was his turn, he was completely disarmed by the smile beamed at him.

“Hello, wel...uh...” her smile slipped as Seven pushed his hoodie down and pushed up his glasses.

“Saeran?” she asked, bewildered. Seven furrowed his eyebrows before realizing why she was confused. Yoosung stepped behind the girl when he heard the name, his eyes wide and startled. They narrowed with Seven thought was disappointment rather quickly.

“Oh, no...that’s my brother. You can call me Seven.”

“Brother? Hah, funny...I have to admit, those glasses look good on you. But, Seven? I think you could have come up with a better name!” She smirked.

“Uh…MC…that isn’t Saeran.” Yoosung verified.

“What?” she straightened up and leaned over the counter peering at Seven so close he leaned back.

“What are you doing here?” Yoosung asked. He’d never met Saeran’s brother, but he’d seen a photo of them together on Saeran’s phone. He recognized those glasses, but even without them, he would be able to tell the difference. Saeran held himself differently, this man was more comfortable in the shadows, his drawn in shoulders, his shifting eyes, his pale pallor. It all screamed of secrets.

“I, uh, came to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Seven? Really? Is that your real name or is it a nickname?” MC tilted her head narrowing her eyes. She could see the difference now, of course it wasn’t Saeran.

“Both.” Seven chuckled good naturedly, avoiding her eyes. She furrowed her brows, there was something sad about him. A dark and heavy aura that surrounded him. It made her want to reach out to him. Their gaze met and he quickly glanced away.

“Hey, are you going to order anything?” the guy behind Seven interjected.

“Go ahead.” MC shoved Yoosung, gesturing to an empty table with her chin.

“No, it’s just us two here right now and we’re in the middle of a rush. He can wait.” Yoosung went back to preparing drinks, turning his back on them both. MC shrugged empathetically as Seven scuttled to the corner table. It was infuriating that the little shit had relegated him to the sidelines. He pulled his hoody back over his disheveled hair and ducked his head, watching those around him. They all looked so carefree and happy. There were a few furiously working on their laptops, but for the most part, they were paired up and enjoying the social interaction. It tugged at his heart, the easy manner in which they communicated. His own social skills were manufactured, learned from a manual of what to do and what not to do in order to achieve his objective.

He switched his observation to the blonde. His back was stiff, yet he still found it easy to smile and be pleasant to the customers. He could see why his brother found him attractive. He was slim with a great ass. His eyes were even more beautiful in person than in a photo. He seemed kind and friendly. So what was the problem? Had Saeran done something? But what? He racked his brain, wondering, but he was no closer to an answer than in the beginning.

His eyes traveled back to MC. Her reddish-brown hair was pulled into a low ponytail, the visor she wore only made her look cuter. Her honey brown eyes met his and crinkled in the corners as she smiled at him. He should look away, but he found himself straightening back up and returned the smile. After the last customer she took a cup and poured black coffee into it, approaching him slowly. She set the saucer and cup in front of him.

“I assume you take it black?” she pushed it towards him with a brilliant smile.

“Yes. How...”

“I have a knack.” she shrugged and walked back behind the counter. She spoke to Yoosung briefly and he shot him a look. He really wasn’t happy at all. He nodded and finally headed towards him. Seven took a sip of the dark brew and sighed with satisfaction. It was delicious. Yoosung sat across from him.

“Hi.” he began.

“Hi.” Yoosung answered briskly.

“Look, I don’t know what happened between you and Saeran, but I do know that he went from the happiest I’ve ever seen him to the most depressed I’ve ever seen him. And I’m not going to ask, that’s between you and him. What I do want to ask is that you give him another chance! He’s miserable! His school work is suffering and so are his games!”

“Games?” Yoosung arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah, the season started, didn’t you know?”

“Well, yeah, I guess.” Yoosung unhooked his arms and leaned against the table. He’d barely paid attention to when Saeran talked about his team, he’d quickly picked up on that fact and he had stopped talking about it period. Yoosung felt guilty, since that was a large part of Saeran’s life and he’d simply dismissed it.

“What do you mean his games are suffering?”

Seven sat back and sighed, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses. “He’s been making mistakes. Stupid ones. His heart just isn’t in it anymore. Not like it used to be. He loved getting on the field and playing hard. It’s never been work for him.”

Yoosung bit his lower lip and rubbed at his arms, the chill was sudden and raised goosebumps all over his skin. He was deep in his own thoughts and regrets when Seven slid something towards him.

“What’s this?”

“Game tickets. To the next game this Thursday. He gets complimentary tickets, I’ve only used them a few times, he doesn’t have anyone else he’s ever wanted to give them to. He thought about giving them to you, but he didn’t want you to feel obligated to go, knowing how you felt about the team.”

“He never said.” Yoosung stated wistfully, running his fingers over the thick edges of the tickets.

Seven shrugged, “Like I said, he wanted you to go, but, he knew you had hard feelings about the entire thing.”

Yoosung pushed the tickets back across the table. “I don’t’ think he would want me to go. Not after...” he couldn’t finish the thought.

“Of course he’d want you to go! Whatever happened Yoosung, whatever you decide to do, you have to know that he loves you.”

“What!” Yoosung’s eyes flew upwards in astonishment.

“It can’t be a secret! He’s head over heels for you. He’s never even expressed interest in anyone else! Love at first sight!” Seven’s eyes glittered and it he was so animated it was difficult for Yoosung not to get caught up in it. He surprised himself with a giggle, slapping his hand over his mouth. They exchanged an astonished gaze then both doubled over with laughter. Yoosung felt at ease with this man, as if they’d known each other for years. How strange.

“Take them. Go. He’s a good man, better than I could ever be.”

Yoosung swallowed, tentatively reaching out for the offered tickets. Saeran.

“Listen to your instincts, forget about what your head is telling you. That’s all I’m asking. That’s all he’s asking.”

Yoosung’s eyes snapped up, “Did he send you here?” he accused.

“Of course not. He doesn’t know I even left the house. If he did, he’d be pissed.” Saeyoung chuckled. “I…just want him to be happy, he deserves that.”

Yoosung snatched the tickets and stuffed them into his pocket. He couldn’t deny that he was missing the red-head. The first few days after their blow out he’d been steadfast in his anger. Adamant about staying away. But the longer time went on, the more he felt the loss physically. His heart ached, no matter how much he tried to deny it. He couldn’t stop thinking about him. He knew he was being too hard on Saeran. That he had been too hard on him from the beginning. He should never have held him accountable for the things his teammates had done. If Seven was right about how Saeran was reacting, and he had no reason to believe otherwise, there was still a chance for them. But would Saeran forgive him? Did he deserve to be forgiven? He hadn’t meant to hurt him. He’d let Saeran know he wasn’t sure about starting a relationship, but he’d also given him conflicting messages about that relationship. All the moments they shared together came flooding back to him and in every single one, Saeran had always been completely present, completely open, completely his.

He slapped his hands over his face as tears streamed from his eyes. Saeran had given all of himself and Yoosung had taken it for granted, waiting for that instant when the red-head turned into exactly what he expected him to be so he could say “Ah hah! I knew you were just like those assholes!” ?

“Oh, hey..uh…” Seven stood and went around the table, patting the boy on the back. He hadn’t expected this kind of thing. Unfortunately, he had lots of practice at comforting. He ran his hand in a circle between Yoosung’s shoulder blades and squeezed his shoulder with his other hand, murmuring comforting words close to his ear.

“What did you do?” MC practically yanked Yoosung away from Seven, pulling him off the chair and wrapped her arms around him. Yoosung buried his head against her neck, snaking his arms around her. He felt foolish, but he couldn’t seem to stop bawling.

“I…nothing! I swear! I don’t know what happened…” Seven’s eyes were sorrowful and MC relented.

“I’m ok. It’s ok.” Yoosung took a deep breath and stepped away from MC, wiping at his eyes. “I just…need a minute.”

“Sure, take it.” Yoosung walked away, into the back room.

“I’m sorry.” Seven sounded pained.

“You didn’t do anything.” His own eyes were glistening, and it touched MC to see how touched he was by Yoosung’s pain. Without thinking, she gathered him in her arms and squeezed him tight. She felt him go rigid, as if he was unused to such intimacy. His muscles tensed, and she thought he would push her away, she only held him tighter.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s ok. He’s going to be ok.” She whispered into his ear and felt his body loosen up, the arms he held rigidly at his sides snaked around her waist and he clung to her like a drowning man to a life vest.

* * *

 

 Yoosung had been nervous when they’d arrived at the baseball field. They headed towards their seats and were surprised that it was a small box section with six seats. The rest were empty, most of the other boxes were full. As he and MC sat there was a hush that surrounded them. All eyes were on them, which made Yoosung even more nervous. MC squeezed his hand and glared at those around them. Soon enough they looked away, but suddenly there were furious whispers and frantic glances towards them.

He supposed Saeran had never had anyone in these seats that were allocated to his friends and family. Somehow, that was terribly sad. He felt more shame as he realized he didn’t even know what number was Saeran’s. He searched the field but didn’t see a red head. However, it was difficult to see hair color from so far away, not to mention, they were all wearing caps.

A few minutes after they arrived someone stepped into their box and plopped down behind them.  
“You came!” Seven put his arms around them both, a wide grin on his face, his face deep in his hoodie, his glasses so darkened they hid his eyes. But there was no doubt he was ecstatic.

“Hey cutie, why don’t you sit next to me.” MC cajoled, grinning, her dimples on full display, he honey brown eyes sparkling with mischief. Seven became flustered, stumbling over his words as he sat back, gulping. MC’s deep laughter shook her shoulders and Yoosung couldn’t help but smirk at how uncomfortable Saeran’s twin was. He imagined few people made him feel at a loss for words. The man took a deep breath then jumped over the back of the seat next to MC and sat stiffly, hands clenched on his lap.

“Isn’t that better?” MC purred into his ear, pressing her lips against the soft fabric of the dark hoodie. Yoosung couldn’t see Seven’s reaction, but his body seemed to vibrate uncontrollably. He couldn’t help it, he laughed out loud. Seven’s laughter was strained, but in a good way. Music began and there were loud cheers that broke out in the crowd. The players began to run into their respective dugouts. Saeran’s team streamed towards them. Yoosung scanned them and his eyes fell on a familiar figure. He still couldn’t see his face, but he recognized his movements and then saw the glint of red hair beneath the cap.

His heart jumped nearly out of his chest as he watched the powerful body lazily jog closer. Saeran raised his face, glancing towards the box and then lowerd his head once more. Yoosung blinked, but then he saw the man stumble to a stop and raise his gaze once more. His eyes were round, as was his mouth. He locked eyes with Yoosung and snapped his mouth shut.

Yoosung smiled shyly and raised his hand in a tentative wave. Saeran mouth smoothed out into a lopsided grin as he raised his left hand, the one without a glove, and wave back. He gave a short nod to MC, then grinned even wider when he saw his brother there as well. One of his teammates shoved him from behind to get him moving, as they were the last two on the field. Saeran laughed and with one last glance towards them, he disappeared into the dugout.

The game was invigorating. Yoosung felt as if his voice was giving out with as much shouting as he’d been doing. Seven had bought them hotdogs and beers, insisting it was baseball viewing fare. Yoosung currently waved a large foam finger that Seven had given him as well and a new baseball hat with Saeran’s number on it. He felt like a proper boyfriend. Hopefully Saeran would agree.

The man was incredible. It was as if he was in three different places at once. Yoosung didn’t know much about baseball but MC gave him a crash course. Saeran was the shortstop, which menat he played between the second and third base. This was apparently a very important position as most of the balls that were hit, were driven in that direction. He’d seen Saeran jump in the air, dive for a ball, get hit by a bounce, and even catch a ball that seemed to have been aimed for his face. It had been hit so hard, they’d heard the catch even in the bleachers. There had been a collective groan from the crowd, but Saeran had just shaken it off.

He was equally impressive at bat. Yoosung had been a little disappointed. Since Saeran was left handed, he stood facing in their direction, and not facing away so that Yoosung could admire the way the uniform hugged his ass. As he had been thinking about that particular fact, MC voiced her displeasure as well. Seven hadn’t been too thrilled about that, hurumphing audibly, which only made MC laugh harder before leaning over and reminding him that since they were twins, she was equally dazzled by his ass.

The cheers that went up when Saeran was at bat were deafening. He appeared to be an extremely popular player. Yoosung beamed with pride. When the game was over, he felt exhausted and exhilarated. They had won of course and people around them were hugging and cheering and raising their fists up in triumph. It was an incredible energy that he had never felt before. If this is how he felt, simply watching, it was no wonder Saeran loved playing.

“I’m gonna’ go wait by Saeran’s car. Can you take MC home Seven? I don’t want her taking the subway on her own.” Yoosung asked Seven.

MC rolled her eyes, but didn’t complain, fixing her gaze on Seven expectantly.

“Uh, yeah, of course...but, uh, you can go to the locker-room, you don’t have to wait at the car.”

“No, I think it’s better this way.” Yoosung didn’t want there to be any awkwardness for Saeran if he showed up in the locker-room. Especially because many of his teammates might recognize him. Not to mention, Saeran had specifically said he hadn’t told them he was dating a man. Seven nodded, patting him on the back as MC laced her arms with his.

“Thank you for coming Yoosung. That’s the best I’ve ever seen him play, and I know it’s because you were here.”

“And you! He seemed just as surprised to see you here.”

“Yeah, well, I usually just stand in the shadows, cheering silently, but today was amazing and so much fun! Maybe I’ll leave the hoodie at home time. It gets pretty hot under here.” he chuckled.

They walked out together and separated in the parking lot. There was a steady stream of vehicles that were getting nowhere fast. Yoosung quickly located Saeran’s car, recognizing the ice cream decal hanging from the rear-view mirror. He leaned against it and waited.

The longer he waited, the more nervous he became. Sure, Saeran had seemed happy to see him, but what now? The minutes ticked by, the noise around him deafening and muted at the same time. He kept checking his phone for the time. The parking lot began to thin somewhat, the blaring horns fading away. Soon enough, the only vehicles left belonged to the players, or so he assumed.

He spotted Saeran as he walked out of the shadowed arena. The man stopped when he saw Yoosung by his car, but quickly picked up his pace as he made his way towards him. There were other players behind him, many meeting girlfriends or friends as well. Yoosung could see a huge grin on Saeran’s face as he came closer. His nervousness fell away and all he felt now was anticipation. He’d missed Saeran, more than he ever thought he could miss anyone. His heart thumped through his chest and his hands were sweaty. He shoved his phone into his back pocket and dropped the giant foam hand on the car’s hood. He tried to run his fingers through his hair, but he’d forgotten he had a hat on. He knocked it askew and Saeran laughed, reaching out and straightening it as he stepped close enough to feel his breath on his skin.

“You’re here.” he said matter-of-factly.

Yoosung shrugged, “Yeah, your brother, he...gave me tickets and threatened me with bodily harm if I didn’t come.”

Saeran’s deep laughter rumbled out of him and warmed Yoosung’s heart.

“You’re...not mad at me still...are you?” he asked tentatively.

“That depends.” Saeran’s smile fell, his amber eyes suddenly deep with emotion.

“On...what?” Yoosung dared to ask.

“On you. Have you decided what you want Yoosung?” Saeran took another step closer, his leg between Yoosung’s as Yoosung was pressed against the car.

“Yes.” his breath hitched and he had to swallow before continuing. “I have.”

“And?” Saeran prodded.

“You...I...want...you.” he breathed.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, his mind was crystal clear. This is what he wanted. Saeran was what he wanted.

“What’s this? Found a new friend Saeran?” there were giggles from behind the red head and Yoosung pressed against the car, eyes wide as Saeran turned to face almost the entirety of his teammates with their girlfriends and friends in tow. Every face had a smirk.

“You look familiar, have we met before?” the boy asked Yoosung and stepped forward. Saeran moved between them smoothly, his gym bag over his shoulder grazing Yoosung slightly.

The brunette boy narrowed his eyes at Saeran and was about to say something else when a dark-haired boy whispered in his ear behind a hand. The brunette’s face widened as he took another look at Yoosung, his mouth grinning from ear to ear at a sudden realization.

“Oh right! I remember you now. I didn’t recognize you without your cute little outfit.” he practically cackled, eyes calculating. “Trying to have some fun without us Saeran? I’m disappointed.”

“Leave him alone.” Saeran seethed.

“Or what?” the boy’s brows furrowed as he stood in front of Saeran, eye to eye.

“It’s fine...Saeran...I...I’ll just go now.” Yoosung tried to move away but there were suddenly two men standing at either side of Saeran’s car and nowhere for him to go.

“Where do you think you’re going? We’re ready to pick up where we left off. Won’t that be fun?” the brunette sneered.

“That’s enough Ilsung.” Saeran tried again.

“Why? Don’t you want to share? How do you even know each other?” Ilsung’s tone was accusatory and Yoosung began to hyperventilate. He could see all too clearly how this was going to go bad and fast.

Saeran took a deep breath, “He’s my…”

“Tutor! I’m just his tutor ok!” Yoosung broke in. Saeran turned to him, eyes questioning. Yoosung’s tears stung as he tried not to let them fall. He was terrified, not for himself, but for Saeran. He shook his head imperceptibly, willing Saeran to understand that he could not, under any circumstance, admit they were together. Not like this.

Saeran seemed to understand, but he smiled, a little sadly at Yoosung, and turned back to Ilsung.

“No!” Yoosung grabbed Saeran’s shoulder but he knew it was too late.

“He’s my boyfriend.” Saeran stated, there were some guffaws, but then a deadly silence.

“What?” Ilsung’s eyes went from the red head to the blonde and back again. “That’s a joke right? Tell me that’s a fucking joke and you’re not a faggot!” he spit.

Saeran reached behind him to grab onto Yoosung’s hand. Too late he realized Yoosung’s instincts had been right. There were too many of them and he knew he wouldn’t be able to protect Yoosung if they attacked. He stuck his other hand in his jacket pocket and turned his phone on, hitting the sequence Seven had taught him to use in an emergency, he only hoped his brother wasn’t too far away.

Another team mate shouldered his way forward, “The past year and a half you’ve showered with us and you’ve been fucking gay?”

“Trust me, none of you have anything I was ever interested in.” Saeran shot back, anger bubling up within him.

“Saeran!” Yoosung plastered himself to Saeran’s back, pleading in his voice. Saeran flushed with shame. He shouldn’t be antagonizing them, he should be trying to diffuse the situation.

“How long? How long have you been gay?” Ilsung asked through gritted teeth.

“Since I was born.” Saeran shot back sarcastically. Damn it! He couldn’t seem to help himself.

“Disgusting!” Came a woman’s voice, Yoosung glanced around but he couldn’t tell where it had come from. Not that it mattered, the utterance instigated more contempt and derogatory terms. Saeran dropped his gym bag and pushed Yoosung directly behind him, his hands on either side of him.

“Get him Ilsung! Fuck him up!” cheers rang out, not that it looked as if Ilsung was adverse to becoming physical. The man sneered and threw a punch, connecting with his jaw easily. Saeran didn’t even try to protect himself. He felt Yoosung yanked away from him and he tried to turn and grab the blonde who yelped in surprise. Ilsung grabbed his arm and flung him back around. Saeran threw his own punch but was blocked by a forearm, another fist coming at him from the other end by the blonde. He blocked the blow, but was sucker punched in the belly by Ilsung. Saeran doubled over but used his momentum to grab Ilsung’s leg and yank on it, flipping the man onto his back.

The blonde rammed into him and they ended up against the car. Saeran could vaguely hear Yoosung screaming for him but was unable to get eyes on him. Others descended on him, he tried to fight back and connected more often that not, but there were too many. Soon enough, he was on the ground, trying to protect as much of his body as possible. There were kicks, stomps, punches. His ears were ringing and he was fairly certain his ribs were broken.

Yoosung screamed, trying to get to Saeran, but two burly guys held him back as they watched with grins on their faces. Yoosung tried to stomp on one’s foot, he let go, but only to backhand him and send him reeling into the other guy who used his elbow to smash against his nose. Yoosung saw stars and felt as if he was going to throw up. He felt useless. All he could do was watch as Saeran was engulfed by the stream of alpha males.

A car came careening towards them with screeching tires. Movement stopped as everyone watched in fascination. The smell of burning rubber filled the air as the car drifted sideways and stopped inches from where Yoosung stood with his assailants. The driver’s side door opened and Seven stepped out, the hood pulled forward, his face barely visible. He ran around the front of the car and the circle around Saeran took a step towards him, eager for more blood.

Seven pulled his right hand up, a handgun in his grip. That stopped all movement, with just about every person throwing their hands up in the universal sign of “Don’t Shoot”. There were some feminine screams.

“Touch him and I’ll fucking kill you!” he growled. “Yoosung! Get him in the car. Now! Move!” he ordered. Yoosuung broke from his paralysis and scrambled towards Saeran. Ilsung took a step towards him but Seven stopped him, “Uh uh uh!” he shook his head.

“Do you even know how to use that thing?” Ilsung spat.

“Try me!” he cocked the gun, his finger squeezing the trigger slightly. Yoosung was having trouble getting Saeran up. His eye was swollen and he yelped when Yoosung touched his left arm. Suddenly MC was next to him. Working together, they managed to get him into the back seat of the fancy and expensive car.

“This isn’t over!” Ilsung called out.

“Trust me. It is. Your lives as you know them are over. I hope you’ve made plenty of memories, these are your glory days, from now on, it’s nothing but grief.” Seven threatened. He scanned the faces in the crowd and committed them all to memory. While he didn’t intend to really shoot them, he planned something much much worse.

The leader huffed and Seven grinned at him. “Remember this moment.” He whispered. “Because you’re going to spend the rest of your life regretting what you did here.”

“MC!” he called over his shoulder.

“Uh, yeah…” she sounded surprisingly calm after having witnessed everything. Seven was impressed. She’d make an excellent agent.

“Get in the driver’s seat.”

“Oh, ok…sure…” he heard her run around and when the door closed, he walked backwards, gun still pointed at the crowd. As soon as his ass hit the seat they tore out of the parking lot, the door slamming shut, almost on his ankle. He glanced at MC and she shrugged un-apologetically.

The crowd milled like ants whose nest had been kicked. Ilsung glared at the retreating car then turned his anger towards Saeran’s car. He pulled a baseball bat from someone’s bag and began to smash it with vigor.


	8. Breaking Down Walls

MC took turns like she was in the movie Tokyo Drift. Even Seven was wide eyed, slamming his seat belt on and bracing his hands against the dashboard.

“Elly, directions home.”

“Confirmed. Meow. Right on Sinpyeong-ro in one kilometer. Meow.”

MC glanced at Seven side eyed and he shrugged self-deprecatingly. Yoosung had little time to really think about the strange catlike woman’s voice coming out of the sport car’s dashboard. As long as it got them someplace that would help Saeran. He wiped the blood that was dripping down his nose on his sleeve, it was ruined anyhow.

“Shouldn’t we be taking him to the hospital?” MC asked.

“No, can’t go there. Elly, call Mary.”

“Calling…Mary…Meow”

“Who…?” MC began but the other end was picked up immediately.

“Where the hell are you!? You were supposed to be extracting th…”

“Vanderwood! Listen! I need you to get your medical hat, we’ll be at the house in less than 15 minutes…” Seven slammed against the door as MC took the right Elly had instructed her to. She shrugged at Seven and slammed her foot down on the gas. “Make that less than 10 minutes.” Seven corrected.

“What are you talking about? What have you done?”

“Nothing! It’s not me, it’s Saeran, he’s hurt. I’m not sure how bad, he passed out.”

“Saeran? I’ll open the garage and deactivate the security system; do we need to use the med bay?”

“I think so, yes, get ready.”

“Already on it, just get him here!”

The call went dead and Seven glanced at Yoosung and Saeran in the back seat.

“How…?” he started.

“I don’t know, but he looks so pale.” Yoosung cried. He wiped Saeran’s face, pushing his hair away. He was too scared to touch him anywhere else, afraid to hurt him. He was pretty sure his left arm was broken. There were so many cuts and bruises. His right eye was swollen shut and his lips had several splits. He tried to wipe the blood from his face, but it was no use. He felt his tears, hot and swift.

“What about you Yoosung? Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, really.”

“You don’t look fine. I’ll have Vanderwood look at your nose, it might be broken.

“Just…Saeran first…”

“Of course.”

Yoosung didn’t pay any mind to where they were, his focus on Saeran only. Before he knew it, MC slammed the breaks as she squealed into a large well-lit garage. A man ran out of the doorway to the house, his longish brown hair tied in a bun on the back of his head. He was tall, lean, and intense. He helped them carry Saeran into the house. They went down a short hallway, passing the living room and kitchen and down some wide steps into a heavily lit room. It was immense. There was a prepared gurney they lay Saeran on. He grunted, his eyes scrunching in pain.

“Take this!” Vanderwood ordered, handing Yoosung a saline bag. Yoosung grabbed it and clutched it to his chest. “No, up! Hold it up!” he obeyed and watched fascinated as the man inserted a tiny needle into the back of Saeran’s hand and connected it to the bag Yoosung held. Seven took the bag from him and hung it on a hook he’d wheeled over. It looked like a hospital room, everything sterile and shiny.

Yoosung briefly wondered why Saeran’s brother had a place like this. Vanderwood inserted a needle into the intravenous line and plunged an amber liquid into it. He was frustrated as he couldn’t get close to Saeran with the man running back and forth. MC put her arms around him and held him close. She didn’t say a word, but her presence was a huge comfort. They stood and watched as Seven and Vanderwood worked on Saeran. They seemed to know exactly what they were doing. He felt completely helpless. He clutched at MC and she squeezed him tighter.

* * *

 

“Idiot boy!” Vanderwood muttered as he checked on Saeran. He was still out cold. Yoosung hadn’t been formally introduced to the man, even though he’d roughly handled his face and bluntly told him his nose was fine, walk it off. He was however, more than grateful for him and what he had done. Saeran’s left arm was broken and three of his ribs were cracked. They’d taken him to his room and made him comfortable and Yoosung had stayed with him since.

The man walked out with a curt nod towards Yoosung. He sat back down beside Saeran and grabbed his hand. He tried to quite his racing mind, tried to keep calm, but it was more difficult than anything he had ever done before. He gulped, swallowing the spit that didn’t seem to have an end.

Saeran whimpered, scrunching his eyes and grimacing in pain.

“Saeran…” he slipped his hand under Saeran’s neck and grabbed one of the pills that Vanderwood had left behind. “Here, take this.” Saeran obeyed, opening his mouth and letting Yoosung slip the small pill in. Yoosung grabbed the glass of water on the nightstand and guided the straw to Saeran’s lips. He gulped eagerly, swallowing audibly.

With a sigh he lay back down, his face still full of pain for several seconds until it smoother out and a small smirk emerged.

“Ahh, the good stuff.” He chuckled, then coughed. “Oh, shit, that hurts.”

“Yeah, well, cracked ribs will do that to you.”

Saeran blinked his eyes open and glanced at Yoosung, his right hand shot up and cupped his chin.

“Who did this!” he growled. Yoosung grinned at the vehemence in his tone.

“Don’t worry about it, you should see the other guy.”

“Really?” Saeran furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah, soft skin, square jaw, just as handsome as ever.” Yoosung grinned. Saeran laughed, then doubled over in pain.

“Ouch! Gah, don’t make me laugh.” He chuckled.

“Oh, sorry…” Yoosung wrapped his arms around the red head and gently held him.

“I’m the one who should be sorry.” Saeran whispered into Yoosung’s hair. Yoosung pulled away and stared at him wide eyed.

“What? What for?”

“I should have listened to you. When you tried to stop me from saying anything. It was stupid to blurt it out like that in front of almost the entire team.”

“Yes, yes it was, but it was kinda hot and bad ass too!” he smirked.

“You’re making me laugh again! Stop!” Yoosung kissed him softly, his lips barely grazing Saeran’s bruised and battered ones. “Hot huh?”

“Very.” Yoosung bit his bottom lip, feeling flushed from the tips of his hair to his toenails. When he pulled away again, he saw Saeran trying valiantly to keep his one good eye open.

“Go to sleep.” He whispered as he ran his fingers through the thick red curls.

“Nnn…nnoo..” Saeran slurred.

“I’m not going anywhere, I’ll be right here.”

“Prr…ooomissse?”

“I’ll stay with you until you’re all better.” Yoosung nodded.

“Nnn…nnn…ooo…for…ever…” Saeran’s breathing evened out and his head slipped to the side as he fell fast asleep.

Yoosung smiled sweetly, kissing Saeran’s temple. “Forever, it’s a promise.” He lay next to Saeran, snuggling against his neck, being careful to keep the arm he through over him high on his chest so he wouldn’t hurt his ribs. Saeran’s arm wrapped around Yoosung’s waist and his hand settled on his hip. Yoosung carefully placed his right leg between Saeran’s and sighed peacefully.

He tried to quite his mind. His adrenaline had leeched out and he felt exhausted, in both body and mind. He felt overwhelmed by the entire day. He had a boyfriend. A real one. A good one. He quickly fell asleep with a soft smile on his lips.

* * *

 

“How is he?” MC asked. She knew she should go home, but she couldn’t bear to leave Seven alone.

“In good hands.” He smirked. “They’re sleeping. I threw a blanket over them, tucking them in like a couple of kids.” He chuckled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Hey.” MC placed her hand over his and he looked up at her with those incredible golden eyes. “He’s going to be fine. You saved him, saved them both.” Seven shrugged and pulled away from her, turning and wiping his eyes under his glasses. But he nodded. She didn’t give up. She wrapped her arms around him, laying her head between his shoulder blades. He stiffened, a short harsh exhalation escaping his throat. She pulled him against her even tighter.

“Why are you doing this?” he hissed through his teeth. She could hear the tears in his voice.

“Because you need it.” She whispered into his back. Seven’s knees gave out and he crumpled to the floor. She gathered him into her arms as he wept against her shoulder, shaking like a child. It took several minutes before his tears ran dry and he could catch his breath.

“Shit! I feel like such an idiot.” Seven sniffed.

“You’re scared, that’s all. But you don’t have to deal with it alone. I’m here.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough. I see how much you love your brother, and it seems as if you’ve sacrificed yourself on his behalf.”

“How…wha…”

“It’s written all over you. What you do, is all for him. So much so that you forgot you have a life too.”

“My life doesn’t matter.” He shook his head, waving her away as he stood up. She followed him up and grabbed his arm when he tried to turn away again.

“Bullshit! Every life matters. And he will never be truly happy if it’s at the expense of yours.”

“How would you know? You don’t know anything about us!” he shot at her.

“Yell at me all you want, but you know I’m telling you the truth.” She crossed her arms and glared at him, clenching her jaw.

He was taken aback and at a loss for words until he shook his head and ran a hand nervously through his hair, his shoulders sagging.

MC’s face softened and she again wrapped her arms around him. This time his initial reaction was not to stiffen. He gave in to it and hugged her back.

“You should stay here tonight. It’s too late for you to be going home.”

MC stepped back, an eyebrow arched. “You’re asking me to spend the night with you?” she quipped.

“Not like that!” his face was crimson and he couldn’t look her in the eye. “I have plenty of rooms for you to choose from. Come on.” He took her hand and they walked down the hallway. He opened a random door and led her inside. “How’s this?” he asked.

“Perfect.” She answered. The full-sized bed was neatly made with a cream colored comfortable and several elegant pillows. The furniture was functional with a few decorative pieces half-hazardly placed around the room.

“There’s a bathroom two doors down on the left, it should have everything you need in it. That’s my room.” He pointed across the hall. “If you need anything, although, most of the time I’m in my office at the end of the hall. Feel free to use the kitchen if you want, or the tv if you can’t sleep. Usually Saeran and I are night owls, we keep odd hours.” He chuckled.

“Can I borrow a t-shirt or something to sleep in?” she asked, eyebrows arched.

“Oh, sure, yeah…” he turned and walked into his room. MC followed slowly. Her eyes widened as she recoiled at the devastation that was his bedroom. There were clothes everywhere, on the floor, the bed, the dressers, in what she assumed might be laundry baskets, yet were buried beneath a mountain of clothes, and even over the dresser mirror. Soda cans littered the landscape as well as empty take out containers. It was a shock, as the rest of the house seemed to be pristine.

“Sorry, Mary won’t clean in here anymore.” Seven shrugged.

“I can see why…uh, why do you call him Mary? He doesn’t seem to like it.”

“Inside joke.” He shrugged as he pulled on drawer after drawer. “Oh, these are clean! Here, what about this?” he pulled out a red t-shirt that looked as if it would fit to her mid thighs.

“That’ll do. Thank you.” She took a tentative step forward and immediately tripped on something hard hidden beneath a wave of jeans. Seven caught her before she could hit the floor and held her in place.

“You ok?” he asked worriedly.

“Fine, yes.” She laughed. “But maybe I should stay on this side of the door.”

“Yeah. Sorry. I really should clean up after myself.” He huffed, but it was clear to MC that it would probably never happen. He had an air of absent-minded professor about him. As soon as he stepped out of the room, the idea of cleaning would probably disappear. It was a rather endearing quality about him, as so many other things were.

They walked out and Seven closed the door behind him.

“I’ll leave you to it then. I’ll take you home tomorrow, or, maybe Vanderwood will.”

“What’s with him anyway? Does he live here too?”

“No, we…we work together.”

“And what exactly is your work?” she asked curiously.

“Can’t tell you that!” his eyes widened in mock horror.

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because then I’d have to kill you! And, that would make me very sad.” He whispered conspiratorially.

MC laughed, but the look in his eyes seemed as if he was only half joking. There was something secretive about him. Whatever his ‘job’ was, she wondered, not for the first time, if it was exactly legal. The house was minimalist, but it was vast and the structure appeared to be expensive. They had money, the cars alone were an indication of that. But neither twin acted like the few rich people she knew.

“I should go. I have something to finish before I go to bed.”

“If you can find your bed.” MC teased.

“Funny!” he leaned against the doorjamb and wiggled his eyebrows lasciviously, “Maybe I’ll find my way into your bed.” He leered.

MC rolled her eyes and shoved him out slamming the door in his face and audibly locking it.

“Is that a no?” came from the other side.

“No.” she answered cryptically. She heard him groan and then walk away.

She held the t-shirt against her chest. He felt comfortable in her arms. She’d never felt that comfortable with anyone before. There was something about him. Something different. He was a challenge and she always thrived on challenges. With a sigh, she undressed and pulled the shirt over her then crawled under the covers, after tossing aside all the decorative pillows. She snuggled into the soft mattress and closed her eyes. Her mind raced with ideas of how to break through that man’s outer shell to the soft gooey inside she knew was there.


	9. Happily Ever After?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodnight...And...Goodbye!!!

“Mr. Kim!” The professor’s voice cut through the air and Yoosung’s head snapped up, eyes wide, face flushed.

“Is my lecture interfering with your social media enjoyment?” the short gray-haired man intoned, arms crossed, brown eyes narrowed behind his too round glasses.

“Uh, no, sorry.” Yoosung turned his phone off and slid it into his back pocket, but he couldn’t get rid of the grin plastered across his face. He’d been texting Saeran and the man had just sent him a selfie, shirt off, face all squinched up and tongue out.

It had only been a couple of months since their incident at the ball park, but things had never looked better.  Saeran’s left arm had been broken and had just been taken out of its cast. His baseball season had come to an abrupt end. He had refused to tell the coach that it had been his own team mates who had broken it, but the man was able to put two and two together. Unfortunately, since Saeran would not corroborate his suspicions, he was unable to do anything to punish them.

It hadn’t mattered. Seven had taken care of that. MC had walked in on him and Vanderwood, fingers flying across the keyboards. She’d recognized some of the faces on the monitors. The way she’d described it to Yoosung was that the both of them were hunched over, intense and super focused, mouths set in a grimace of retaliation. He’d laughed at her dramatic rendition, until Seven had shown him the results of his tampering.

He had to admit, he had been impressed and terrified. Seven had basically set a digital bomb to go off at any point in time he so chose or depending on the actions of said targets. Every bad choice, illegal activity, indiscretion, any of them had ever made, was set to disseminate to every contact they had and spread worldwide from there. He hadn’t fabricated anything, nor had he exaggerated information, it was all true, and all something that could end any hope for a decent future for each player.

“Are you going to pull the trigger?” Yoosung had asked him.

“No, I’ve already sent them all the information, it’s in their hands now.” He’d grinned manically. “One wrong step, and they lose everything.”

“But, why? Why not just…do it?” Yoosung had asked, confused.

“Oh dear, sweet, innocent Yoosung.” He’d cooed, putting his arm around him. “If I released it all, that would be that, they would hit rock bottom and the only way for them to go is up! This way, it’s hanging over their heads for the rest of their lives. They’ll be waiting for that shoe to drop!”

“That…that’s evil.” Yoosung had shivered.

“Exactly!” Seven had booped him on the nose, turned, and cackled at the top of his voice like an evil villain as he walked away.

When Yoosung had finally brought it up to Saeran, he’d chuckled and shook his head.

“Do you think he’d really do it?” Yoosung had asked, concerned. On the one hand, those assholes deserved what they got. If Seven hadn’t shown up, they might have killed Saeran, and maybe him as well. But on the other hand, he felt guilty about doing that to someone, even assholes.

“Oh, he’d do it.” Saeran had confirmed, but even he’d looked apprehensive about it. “Don’t worry so much. Look at it this way, it’ll keep them on the straight and narrow and other people won’t suffer like we did.” He’d smiled and winked.

He’d asked Saeran if he was sad that he wouldn’t be able to finish the season. He’d shrugged absently.

“Not really. I’ve found something more important to me.” He’d reached out and took Yoosung’s hand.

“Baseball is important to you too. I hate that you’re losing it.”

“I enjoy playing it. The roar of the crowd, the feeling when we win, or when I make a good play.” He’d laughed. “But, it isn’t as important as you think it is. It was just something to do that I could control. Something that made me feel somewhat normal. I don’t need it. I won’t miss it. In fact, I doubt I’ll return next season.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“But I thought you had a scholarship for that? What happens if you don’t play anymore? Won’t they revoke it?” Yoosung had been worried.

Saeran’s laugh was louder and he’d clutched at his ribs. Once he’d caught his breath again he’d answered, “Do you really think money is an issue for me?” he’d cocked an eyebrow. Yoosung had turned crimson, of course money wasn’t an issue. From all appearances, Seven was loaded, even if he didn’t act like a rich guy.

They’d ended up laughing and Yoosung had had to soothe Saeran as the laughter was hurting his ribs.

Yoosung grinned at the memory, still not hearing a word of what the professor was saying. He clicked on his laptop absently, scrolling through the photos that permeated it of him and Saeran. There were several in there with Seven and MC, who had somehow clawed her way into Seven’s life. He had been reluctant at first, but the girl was merciless. Yoosung thought they were a good match for each other, Seven seemed to need someone that could challenge him, and MC was more than up for the task.

They’d both been spending a lot of time at the twin’s house as Saeran healed. MC had tagged along every chance she got. At first, Seven had tried to flirt, making stupid jokes that inevitably made MC laugh and Saeran roll his eyes. After a while though, he shut down and became sullen. Yoosung had asked Saeran about the sudden change in personality.

“It’s what he does.” Saeran shrugged.

“But I thought he liked MC?” Yoosung had pressed.

“I’m sure he does, but…”

“Well, if I was him, I’d just give in.” Yoosung stated matter-of-factly.

“Is that so?” Saeran had given him a lopsided grin.

“If he thinks he can push her away, he’s got another thing coming!” Yoosung had laughed, but Saeran looked kind of sad. “Uh, is that bad? I thought you liked MC.”

“It’s not that. I hope you’re right. Seven deserves to be happy, if only he can get out of his own way.” He’d snickered.

“Then what is it?” Yoosung had sat on the bed next to Saeran, careful not to jostle him too much.

“I just wondered…you know…if…ahh, never mind, it doesn’t matter.” He’d muttered, running a hand through his hair.

Yoosung had taken his hand and held it firmly in his own.

“Tell me.”

“Would you have fought that hard for me if I’d walked away?”

“Oh…” Yoosung’s heart had stopped at the sorrow in Saeran’s voice.

“It doesn’t matter.” He had chuckled again, but Yoosung could see that the thought troubled him.

Yoosung had sighed and snuggled next to Saeran, putting his arm around his shoulders and lay his cheek on his head.

“I know I made it hard for you Saeran. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I didn’t even know what I wanted. If Seven hadn’t come to the shop, I would have found you again. I would have…eventually…gotten out of my own way too.” He’d grinned.

“Really?” Saeran’s voice had sounded pained and timid, almost like a child’s.

“Really. I fell in love with you, that doesn’t just go away.” It had been a good night and while the pain in Saeran’s voice still gave him a pang of guilt, Yoosung was glad they had cleared the air about it and were able to move on. He berated himself with how stupid he had been, but it was all good now.

Another shock had come when Saeran declared he was dropping all his classes. Yoosung hadn’t known how to react.

“I was just going through the motions anyway.” Searan had shrugged.

“But, your degree! That’s two years wasted!” Yoosung had argued.

Saeran had stopped. He’d been putting away some clothes, slowly, as his arm had still been in a cast. He looked at Yoosung, his amber eyes wide with astonishment.

“Yoosung, they weren’t wasted! I found you.”

“Oh, uh…” Yoosung had blushed all the way to the tips of his toes, his skin hot to the touch when Saeran pulled him into an awkward embrace and kissed him tenderly, their lips meeting in blissful synergy. Another great night followed that conversation.

Saeran made him feel things he’d never thought were possible. Sure, he’d day dreamed about finding ‘the one’. Falling in love. Doing all those romantic things. Feeling those butterflies creating chaos on his insides. But Saeran…it was all those things dialed up to a thousand. He was incredulous that it had taken him so long to realize how much he loved Saeran. How much he had insinuated himself into his life. So much so that the very idea of a life without the red-head was torturous.

He was head over heels and happier than he’d ever been. Once Saeran had almost completely recovered, they’d fallen into a routine. Every weekend was spent at the twin’s home and weekdays at Yoosung’s place as it was closer to the University. Saeran didn’t seem to care about how much smaller and less comfortable Yoosung’s bed was. Thinking about Saeran in his bed made him flush again. Thankfully, everyone’s attention was back on the professor. He tried to be attentive. He wanted to do well and become the best veterinarian that he could be. The future was suddenly important, not only for him, but for them as a couple.

Saeran had eventually promised he would finish his degree, if only to make Yoosung happy. He’d decided to do it online instead of at the University because he was able to go at his own pace, and his pace was fast! It had come as a surprise that Saeran was a genius and Yoosung was still extremely impressed. Instead of feeling inferior, he was proud to have such a smart boyfriend, and Saeran never made him feel stupid.

He slammed his laptop closed and shoved it into his bookbag as soon as the lecture was over. He hopped up and ran out, heading towards the bus stop, ready to head home. He texted Saeran as soon as he settled onto a seat.

Yoosung: OMW

Saeran: :)

Saeran: Did you learn anything?

Yoosung: Not really.

Saeran: Why not? ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ

Yoosung: I couldn’t stop thinking about you. ♡

Saeran: Nice try, but you should really be a better student!

Yoosung: I know! I’ll try. I promise.

Saeran: Good boy!

Yoosung’s temperature rose. Saeran often used those words when they made love and it fueled his arousal. Did he know those words would make him feel like this? Of course he did, he was a genius after all.

He set his phone down and tried to catch his breath. To calm himself down. He placed his bookbag on his lap, his burgeoning erection becoming evident.

Yoosung: You did that on purpose.

Saeran: Did what?  (  **͡** °  **͜ʖ** **͡** °)

Yoosung: You’re such a jerk! LOL

Saeran: That’s not what you said last night! In fact, I’m pretty sure your exact words were “Fuck me faster! Yes..ahh..hnghhh…FUCK!!”

Yoosung: SAERAN!!

Saeran: p^_^q

Saeran: I love the sounds you make. And you’re beautiful when your mouth is wrapped around my cock.

Yoosung’s eyes bulged out of his head and he bit his lower lip before a loud and unmanly squeak could escape his mouth.

Saeran: I love you.

Yoosung’s shoulders eased and tears sprang to his eyes. There it was. Those three little words that made him melt. That liquified his insides and left him a bleeding, roiling, puddle. Yes, the sex was amazing, but it was so much more than that. He loved this man. He couldn’t live without him. Couldn’t breathe without him. He took his breath away with a simple gesture. Skewered his heart with a wink. Turned his life upside down and he loved every minute of it.

Yoosung: I love you too.

Yoosung: But mostly because of your huge cock.

Saeran: *gasp* such language! I knew it, you only love me for my body! I guess I’m cursed!

Yoosung: Idiot!

Saeran: Wait, Seven, did you hack Yoosung’s account? Because that’s creepy, talking about my cock and all!

Yoosung: Oh my God! Shut up!

Saeran: Hurry home.

Saeran: I miss you.

Yoosung: I miss you too. I’ll be there soon.

He put his phone away and settled back into his seat. His head was so full of so many different things. Love was a strange thing. There were still times when their relationship was strained for one reason or another, yet they were able to work through those times. He let himself dream about what life would be like five, ten, twenty years from now. The thought made him giddy.

Strangely, Rika came to mind. He hadn’t thought of her for a while. Everything seemed to have taken more importance. He felt a rush of guilt at having forgotten his cousin. But was that exactly true? He still had small bouts of depression. Saeran however, accepted those times without feeling the need to try and snap him out of it. They understood each other so well in that way. Saeran’s childhood had been one of the worst Yoosung had ever heard about and his heart had broken at the pain that little boy had felt throughout it. While his own pain was nothing compared to what Saeran had gone through, it was traumatic in its own way. They were two broken pieces that fit together.

Before he knew it, they were at his stop and he bounced off the bus, waving to the driver. He jogged towards his building where Saeran was waiting. He ran up the steps to the building and keyed in his code. The elevator was on ground level so he used that instead of the stairs, which were often faster. He paused outside his door, key in hand, his heart pounding, face flushed. With a small smile he opened it, glancing to his right as Saeran, sitting on the small couch, turned and directed a beaming grin at him, amber eyes flashing with what could only be called love. He stood and made his way around the couch to embrace him as Yoosung shut the door behind him. The smell of Saeran surrounded him, making him feel heady and light. He dropped his bookbag at his feet as they pulled apart enough to enjoy a soft and tender kiss hello. He was home.

**Author's Note:**

> For more Yooran, follow me on Tumblr @elvendara  
> Or if you'd like to see some mediocre art, on IG @elvendarra


End file.
